I was influenced by BookTok (and partially strong armed by a friend) to read this book. 
It’s a gorgeously written story about Achilles from Patroclus’ point of view. I admire the author for putting so much love and respect into this story, giving a stellar retelling to a famous story and looking at the relationships from a different perspective. Anyone who’s read anything about Achilles or the Trojan War should know what they’re getting into with this book. The topics are heavy, potentially triggering, and altogether realistic for the setting. That being said, I’m not a fan of Greek tragedy and only enjoyed the book when I was done with it. It’s very emotionally provocative, and it does it well. 

 I really wanted this book to be for me, to be one of those people that love it. It was not. 

The pacing was so odd, the same chapter could be broken in scenes (which is fine btw) with a weird time-space between them, from mere minutes to years, months or season. In my mind it's fine if it's even, like in the same chapter scenes space out through months at a time, but don't change the pacing mid-chapter, it's weird, it takes you out of the story. Also, I think many scenes were unnecessary, they didn't dive into the characters or the "plot", I could've skip them and I would have understood the book just fine. 

Oh, and don't get me started with mixing tenses (past and present) while describing something that was happening at the moment, meaning that Patroclus was living through it as he narrated instead of telling us afterwards when usually it would be used the past tense. English isn't my first language, but in my mother tongue works the same way, I think that's common sense. It really threw me off, it took me out of the story.

Another thing that I didn't like was the misogyny in the book. I understand that it's a retelling set in Ancient Greek, where women were seen as merely sexual objects and/or slaves. But then go with it, don't have Patroclus ASK Achilles to claim girls so they don't get brutalize by other kings or warriors, it doesn't make sense. If you want to show that Patroclus is against how the patricarchy treats women, make him have an opinion on the matter, after all the book is narrated through HIS point of view. In my opinion, the only woman that he truly respected was Briseis by the way he talked about her. He talked about the other women as if it was normal what happened to them and Patroclus and Achilles were their saviors, what a irritating god's complex, although Patroclus didn't strike me that way. Achilles sure did.

Sorry, the latter point pisses me off because this book was written by a woman. It could've been so much more if this was fixed, at least, it wouldn't have bothered me so much, which brings me to my next point.

I hate every character (aside from Briseis) in this book. Achilles, Patroclus, Thetis, Agamemnon, everyone. Fucking priviledge men. Who pisses me off the most is Achilles, so fucking stubborn and proud. MEN ARE DYING, PUT YOUR ARMOR ON AND FIGHT YOU FUCKER. Patroclus literally BEGGED him to do so, for him, not for anyone else, AND HE GOT KILLED FOR IT. Achilles' fault and no one else.

This brings me to my next point that is that I can't be bought into thinking Patroclus and Achilles loved each other. Maybe Patroclus did, after all he described Achilles in many beautiful ways throughout the book, however I truly don't think Achilles loved him back. Not in the right way anyway. All I saw between them was lust. Towards the end was the only time I truly saw that Achilles might love him, or perhaps he just missed Patroclus' companionship, they'd been together for over a decade, lovers since they were like fifteen, I don't even remember, the man was devastated.

Now, you may ask, why didn't you DNF it? Well, because I paid for it with my own money, I read the synopsis and said, "oh, I might like this" and bought it. This was the only reason why I pushed through it all, otherwise I would have DNF it 70-ish pages in, I literally didn't care for anyone, not then, not now that I have finshed it.

So, next time I read a Greek retelling I need to search one star reviews here, just to see if it's worth my money. I really don't want to bump into the most misogynist shit I've read about decorated with clever words put together. 

I HATE THIS, GODDD IT MAD ME SO MADDDD I LOVE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO CHARACTERS BUT DEAR GODDD, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THATTTTT AT THE ENDDD PLEASEEE STOPPP MAKING ME CRYYYYY

first of all, this book is GORY af

If you like greek mythology & don’t mind the content warnings, this might be for you. (ignore my review then, though)

The combination of war & romance was weird - I don’t need to read about how beautiful someone looks while killing people; neither did I want to read about 13 year olds forced to have sex (if that’s needed to accurately describe what that time was like, it could’ve at least been less detailed); same with animal killings, though ig that too is unavoidable considering the context

I didn’t love the pacing, character development & all the talk about feet etc?? Achilles got progressively more unlikeable (this really is a story about his irrational, insufferable pride), and I cared a lot more about Briseis. She was so right when she said

The last 100 pages were kind of page-turning & heartbreaking though and it got better and better until the very last page. Can’t say I always enjoyed reading this, but I don’t think it’s a bad book.
It didn’t live up to the hype in my opinion BUT tbf I never cared - or knew much - about greek mythology, nor am I a big fan of war novels or romance, so I really am the worst possible person to review this book

I understand why there is such a hype around the genre of book but I struggled to connect with Achilles. Also the constant threat and statements of woman being SA’d really added to made the struggle to enjoy this. 

Loved seeing a LGBT+ story being so well regarded. Wish I liked it more! 

6 stars to be honest