“The American [but honestly every other country's as well] justice system creeps forward at a glacial pace, stymied in part by the efforts of the same powerful men who benefit from laws that protect their interests and forgive their sins.”

This is an important read.

It's important for women so they know they are not alone. There are people who are willing to help, who want to help, and who choose a whole career path to help. That's a little reassuring, even when you live in a totally different country.

It's important for men so they can understand what A LOT of girls and women come through. Often multiple times in their lives. It's harrowing and exhausting. It ruins careers, families, lives. Please listen to women around them, trust them, help them (if and how they ask you to), but more importantly, don't judge them, support them.

Sisters, I am with you. You are not alone. We are not alone. We'll be fine.

On the audiobook itself. Carrie's narration works perfectly, she did a great job, even though there were some pauses in the wrong places. But I understand how hard it is to voice a whole book, so no complaints there.

4.5⭐️

Ultimately, this was a good read. As a law student, a survivor advocate, an aspiring victim’s rights attorney, and a survivor myself, I was awed by Carrie Goldberg’s journey of starting her firm and her passion for supporting survivors. That said, I wish that the language had been a bit more nuanced when regarding men who behave in violent, manipulative ways. Throughout the book, Carrie refers to men who cause harm as psychos. Not every man who engages in these patterns of behavior are psychotic under the clinical definition and not all psychotic people engage in these patterns of behavior. As a person with a disability who suffers from mental illness as a result of my trauma, ableist language like this is not only reductive, but further stigmatizes mental health and the notion that those with mental illness are violent, unpredictable, and dangerous.

Additionally, I wish that the chapter called “girls lives matter” had been called “Black girls lives matter” considering most of the young clients she profiles in that chapter were Black. Yes, White girls and other girls of color are victimized as well, but as many Black scholars, commentators, and activists have stated time and time again, it’s important to say what you mean when you’re discussing race, privilege, and power as it relates to Black people. The word Black isn’t a slur and acknowledging that Black women and girls are most affected by gender-based violence and less likely to be believed when coming forward due to patterns of adultification and race-based stereotypes, it’s important to be clear that when you’re saying girls lives matter you mean Black girls…. Plus referring to any other race and using “lives matter” after it is in poor taste considering how often White supremacists use the terms all lives matter and white lives matter to make a mockery of the movement.

Overall, great book with a unique focus on non-consensual dissemination of sexual imagery. As someone who reads a lot about gender-based violence and sexual assault, it was also great to see a lot of reference to sexual violence that occurs off of college campuses

This is one of those books I think everyone should read. It made me so angry. I did not grow up with social media. It can do so much harm in the wrong hands. It is not an acceptable solution to tell young women to be constantly on guard and besieged. It is not guaranteed to prevent them being targeted anyway. We need ways to stop toxic people using the internet, or any other means to harm people. Violence against women and so called people thinking it is fun to ruin people's lives. It is such an important topic. I totally agree the way to react is to be angry, as is proportionate, and to make them pay.