This book wrecked me.
It took me a long while to finish it, because I kept picking it up and immediately putting it down, not in the mood for something so heavy, so infuriating, so painful.
M.L. Wang knows like no other how to invoke emotions.

Brutal and unflinching, yet peppered with so many pure, tender moments. Beautifully written. Somehow both otherworldly and alarmingly close to home. Incredibly cool magic system and worldbuilding so clear it feels tangible. Everything is done well in this book. Everything.

This read really made me reflect and stretched my feelings to the max. I lost count of the number of times I gasped or clapped a hand over my mouth. Wang shocked me in ways few other authors have. Very eager to check out their other work now. 

 Wow, this was probably the most intelligent, extensive, most immersive and overall most interesting book I've read, ever. And I've read quite a lot in my time. Probably saved me from an incoming reading slump, too.

I don't even know how to start this review because I don't want to take away the joy of discovering the story, so I will just drop some arguments why you should read it without goint into greater detail:
-intricate worldbuilding
-an unique, science- and religion-based magic system
-criticism on probably everything (e.g. said "religious" system)
-fascinating female MC with strong (strong) academic drive in a male-dominated world
-political but not in a politics-way but in a soul-crushing, system changing way
-beautiful academic-y writing which my professors should take inspiration from
-character development with some not so nice parts
-no focus on a love story (you decide if this is good or bad, i thought it was fitting)

You should not read this book if you are looking for a light, fun story or if you are triggered by rascism, sexism, xenophobia, murder, sexual assault or generally injustices against more or less everybody involved.
Whereas this book is in no way light or topic-wise super easy, I found myself sprinting through the book like there was no tomorrow. These hefty kinds of books tend to be a bit intimidating (at least for me, looking at Babel on my shelf), but just give it a go, it honestely is so intruiging that you probably just get sucked right in the story. So don't be intimidated, just give it a go!

Some further thoughts for people who might need more convincing or for those who've read it and just want to ramble about it like I do:
Gosh this book was it. In the beginning, I honestely did not want to start this. I had just read a lot of fantasy-heavy books which where just overall not that deep sometimes so startig a complex book seemed daunting. Still, it was on kindle unlimited and I probably saw someone speaking about it, so I gave it a go, expecting it to drag quite a bit. After 3 pages I turned off the page numbers on my kindle because they distracted me from the story (never happened before). After like 10 minutes I checked my progress and was on page 70, reaching page 250 the same evening. By then, I already knew this was going to be exceptional. Still, as the last quarter approached, I became really worried about the ending and if it would be cut short or would not be satisfying or if it would just be a convenient, easy way out - because honestely, I was way more anxious about everything than our mc. So count me surprised when the ending actually made sense?? and was consequent to all of the prior world-and character building? She really did that.

I now have to decide what to do with my life. Maybe read a thriller to calm down. Maybe read the sword of kaigan, because even though it doesn't really intruige me right now and it is quite a chonky book, I now trust M.L. Wangs brilliance and expect this one to be mind-blowingly executed, too. The only thing I know for sure is that I will force my friends to read this right now - for they know I have great taste and with maybe some emotional pressure the likes of trust me bro 

This book came highly recommended and it didn't disappoint. I hadn't read any books by M.L. Wang before though I know of her and Sword of Kaigen. It's been in my TBR for a while now. This one on the other hand came out of the blue as far as I am concerned. 

Sciona and Thomil are the two protagonists. Sciona has been a prodigy, a genius and she has spent her life oblivious to everything and being as self absorbed and selfish as a person can be in her pursuit of magic. Magic is what makes the city of Tiran where she lives go around, and it is a gift from their god who embodies truth and a spirit of enquiry. In a world where women are expected to be the lesser citizens and denied opportunities for higher research, she is determined to succeed. But her entry into the High Magistry doesn't open doors as she expected it to. Her male colleagues are determined to think she didn't get in on her merit and shows their disdain by giving her a Kwen Janitor as an assistant instead of a qualified university graduate.

Kwen are the outcasts, the ones who comes from the wild lands beyond the barrier that keeps Tiran safe. The lands beyond are subject to the Blight, a bright light that strikes from above and kills instantly, by unravelling flesh and muscle till only blood is remaining of the victim. The Tirannish hold that it's a punishment from God for the ungodly ways of the Kwen. Tiran, under her magical barrier, is protected from the Blight. 

The janitor, Thomil is a hunter who had seen his entire family except his niece die from the blight before his eyes. He and his niece, Carra who he raises, are the last of the Caldonnae who once numbered in the thousands. The lands outside are rendered inhospitable since the Blight takes animals, plants and men alike. 

Sciona and Thomil form an unlikely friendship as they delve into Sciona's project: the expansion of the barrier. If she can come up with a viable method that's better than that of her peers, she can prove beyond doubt that she is worthy of being in the High Magistry, that a woman is capable of doing as well, if not better, than men in her chosen field. But her attempt to come up with a better way leads to her discovering the buried truth behind Tiran's magic and prosperity. It's a truth that destroys everything she believes in, and alienates everyone around her.

There were places in the book where I wanted to kick Sciona and places where I wanted to shake her. But thankfully, it all changed soon. I was so anxious for her that I had to stop reading and breathe for a bit. 

To say this book ripped the heart right out of my chest from chapter one is not an understatement. It was so intense, and I had so many emotions. The ending was strangely cathartic, and despite how sad I was, realistically, no other ending would have worked. 

This book deals with a lot of themes. Feminism, sexism, misogyny, colonialism, bigotry, racism, and the ills of all these are brought out in one way or another. Some of the characters are almost like caricatures, but even then, they remain representative of the evils they embody. 

I loved Sciona's character development as well as Thomil's. Even though she makes her appearance only after the mid way point, Carra is also a memorable character who grows in the space given to her. 

I needed two days to settle down enough to write this review. This book impacted me that much. Even now, I am not sure I'm doing justice to it. 

I would recommend it to anyone who loves epic fantasy, high fantasy, complex and well defined magical systems, character driven stories, and anyone who loves M.L. Wang's books. There's nothing about this book I didn't love. 

Just go and read it. You won't regret it!

Wow! What a book to start 2024. I loved this so much, the way the story started and ended was beautiful! I loved every single character. I think whatever way I write this review will do injustice to the beauty of this story. It was amazingly well written and I felt like I was there. I might update this when I have clarity.