when he at the. yeah

Such an amazing story showing the truth that lies in a world we cannot believe we live in. The story depicts the consequences and the misery that is brought upon families who have been affected by the black market and can simply never recover from. The book is so well written that it absorbs you to think that you are a member of the family and you can actually feel and imagine the pain and misery a family goes through everyday. It reveals how people manipulate the law in different countries and shows how life can be so unjust. However, overall, it brings you to experience adventure, maturity and the strengthening of friendship bonds.
A must-read roller coaster.

It's hard to explain what this book is about. It's not neat. It's life—messy, and painful, and confusing. It's about being a teenager at that moment when all the decisions and changes loom ahead of you. It's about loss and grief, both the type that hovers constantly over you, almost not there but present enough to cast a thin shadow over life, and the kind that slashes your life apart. It's about the sacrifices you are willing to make for the people you love. And it's about a lot more.

Danny is in his senior year—one year until he leaves his family and goes to college. In fact, he just got accepted into the art school he applied early decision for, so he should be ready to go.

But there are things holding him back.

Danny doesn't feel ready to leave his best friend Harry, whom he has unspoken feelings for. His other friendships haven't been going so well. His parents' relationship has been increasingly unsteady, and as he starts to see hints that they have been hiding something from him, he begins to investigate.

Overall, I really liked this book. Danny is Asian-American, and I could relate to many of the things he mentioned in there. His friendship with Harry was something I also particularly liked—though I should be clear, this is not a romance. You see that they are close, but this book does not revolve around Danny discovering and confessing his feelings to Harry, where they kiss towards the end of the book and then end up happy.

What really made me take off a star was that the writing style didn't work for me. It's quite heavy to read. While the author does mostly succeed in getting Danny's thoughts and reflections across, the sentences were long and it became tedious to make sure I was reading each one right—otherwise I wouldn't get it. This book did have a lot of telling, not necessarily a bad thing, but I would have liked more scenes where I could observe and come to my own conclusions.

It was also a bit all over the place. Much of the book takes place in the past through flashbacks or explained through narrative, and a clearer timeline would have helped. However, I did enjoy seeing all the history behind each of Danny's relationships with his friends and family. There was a lot to unpack there, and perhaps what made some of it particularly painful was how... the things that happened really weren't farfetched. Not going to go into spoilers, but... these things are still happening today. People are still facing these same problems, these tough decisions.

Trigger warnings for suicide, depression, and anxiety/panic attacks.

A very different coming-of-age story, set in the Chinese-American community within Cupertino, CA. The stereotype for ABC (American born Chinese) kids- over-achievers pressured by parents to go into law, medicine, etc., and all of the stress it creates, is on display, but not in Daniel Tseng's family; his parents have embraced his talent as an artist, and have supported it all along.

However, Daniel's parents have a secret, a mystery Daniel uncovers in this slow reveal story. And Daniel is also coming to terms with who he is as well. The characters are well drawn, the writing is good. About the only complaint I had was that it was a little too long. The mystery is presented, and then dropped off the page until it's sort of needed again. I felt that while the conversations between the teen characters was fine, it could have been condensed and that would have moved the story along a little better.

In between Daniel's story is another story, written in second person, presented on a gray background. It takes place in China, and the reader eventually finds out who this person is as the story unfolds. It was heartbreaking for me, and I am sure it will be for others.

4.5 stars.

Picture Us in the Light was a book I stumbled upon while browsing online; not only did it have a promising synopsis, but I had an instinctual feeling that I'd enjoy it, which is how I ended up leaving the bookstore with it in tow. I've recently been branching out more into contemporary, and this novel was without a doubt one of the strongest examples from the genre I've read in 2018 (as well as possibly ever).

What I found compelling about the book was how extensive it was—Danny's story consisted of many different layers, and these elements meshed together (for the most part) successfully. Kelly Loy Gilbert fully captured life's highs and lows as she wrote about people who were all a little broken, people dealing with grief and insecurity and resentment interspersed with bursts of joy. This isn't a lighthearted read, instead one that sits heavy and ends on a fairly bittersweet note, yet it was rewarding to see the main character navigate all these curves thrown at him and come out stronger for it. Because the author included so many aspects of Danny's senior year in high school, I did feel like the main two storylines—Danny uncovering secrets about his Chinese-American family and coming to terms with the possible role he played in a friend's death—battled with each other. Both plot lines were enjoyable, though I was more invested in the Cheng family's drama and how that affected Danny. I steadily fell deeper into the book as I tried to piece together the truths his parents were so carefully guarding, sometimes guessing things correctly and then other times having no idea what the next reveal would be.

One of the novel's greatest strengths was Danny himself. It took a while to feel like I was reading from a male narrator, but once that finally clicked I was hooked on his voice, the little nuances that made him unique. He was an introspective person but at the same time such a teenage boy: he made stupid choices that in some cases came back to bite him, decisions you believe to be justified in the moment and then regret later on. I loved the relationship he had with his parents: they were proud of his art, of his future, but there was this perpetual sadness to them that you began to understand as more secrets came to light.

Spoiler

I thought a lot of what happened to them was ultimately their own fault, because since they never told Danny anything, his ignorance ended up being part of their undoing.

Danny's friend group was also well rounded, with Regina and Harry having distinct personalities and situations, and I enjoyed seeing how each one's interactions with Danny changed for the better.

Another thing I thoroughly appreciated was that none of the central characters were white: this was a book focused on the Asian American experience, whether that meant Chinese or Taiwanese or Japanese or Indian or countless other ethnicities. Danny's experience differed from Harry's or Regina's because none of them had the same background, which made for an even more diverse cast. And can I just say how much I loved Loy not making Danny's sexuality a big deal? Picture Us in the Light is many things, but it's not a coming out story, nor was the romance a major focus. Danny's feelings for Harry were simply a part of him, as natural as breathing, and more often than not took a back seat to him dealing with his parents and overcoming his art block and

Spoiler

learning more about his sister

. Danny's love for Harry was quiet and even subdued, and I adored how easy that love was (though I wanted a little more at the end; with the way it was written, however, a big declaration would have been out of place).

As much as I enjoyed the overall product, I found it to be overambitious in certain ways, and that's partly because of the writing. Not to say I disliked it, because Loy's extremely talented: her prose was thoughtful, and she knows how to develop characters and craft an engaging narrative. There was a nice flow to the writing, but I had to reread some sentences because they were extremely long (this coming from someone who likes long sentences) and muddled. Em dashes and parenthesis were overused as well, which broke up the book's rhythm. There was also too much going on storywise—I liked seeing Danny and his friends struggle with the impending future, but the subplot regarding

Spoiler

Sandra's suicide

made me think Loy couldn't quite decide what direction she wanted to take the book in.

Picture Us in the Light did so many things well, and I can only image the ways Kelly Loy Gilbert will grow as an author. Definitely someone I'll be keeping an eye out for!

4.5 stars This was a really great story. A lot of ups and downs and unexpected twists, just like Life, I guess. It was interesting to get a glimpse into Danny's high school experience and his immigrant family experience. I won't say more for fear of spoilers, but I really got invested in all the different characters in this book with all their different experiences and points of view -- except maybe, Mr. X. We could just leave him in a dumpster.
The audio version of this book was well read by James Chen. I find that a good narrator brings more to the experience than the paper version-- value added! Highly recommended.

okay I understand this is one of the best books I've ever read and I'm sobbing and not okay and holy shit

why isn't every single person reading this book