I really like this memoir! The themes of grief and body images resonated with me

I really enjoyed this read.

I think it tackled some really difficult issues with grace and transparency and I really appreciated it. While it was centred around the mums death, I thought it did well not to focus on the event itself, but on the after effects and consequences of it.

Some sections I felt could have been trimmed down (I didn’t feel like there was much in the way of allowing us valuable insight into the siblings’ relationships) bc certain sections were a bit slow.
Unpacking generational trauma was a huge theme here and something that’s so important for more of us to talk about, understand and hopefully change for future generations to come. 

(There’s quite a lot of fat/body shaming in this so if that’s a trigger for you, proceed with caution)

Oh my god this one is bad. 

This is like reading someone’s diary, in the sense that diaries read pretty poorly, self-indulgent, and whiny. 

It’s very clear from the start that this started as a one-woman-show that she expanded into a full book. It’s really over edited, extremely cheesy, and in the audiobook, over acted. 

I hate to say mediocre but it’s the only word that comes to mind. Lieu has definitely lived a life but it’s amazing how she explores it in the least interesting way possible. Her reflection of her life is very “baby’s first therapy realization” and does not actually explore the depth that is there. 

She spends every moment of this book protecting her own feelings and doesn’t spend any real time trying to understand her family’s point of view. I know it’s not fair to compare this to “On Earth We are Briefly Gorgeous,” because these books are in totally different leagues and On Earth is semi-fictional, but On Earth kind of sets the bar of exploring one’s traumatic childhood with a complicated, immigrant mother with PTSD. Vuong is able to get the reader to empathize with his rough childhood but he puts considerable effort into complicating our opinion on his mother. She was tough, but she was doing the best she could. Lieu has absolutely no where near the same level of skill to explore her own family’s turmoil and can’t see past her own childhood hurt feelings. 

I read Matthew Perry’s memoir and it was painfully blunt and stark in regards to his life long drug habit. In the final chapter, there’s a HARD pivot to his life now seen in rose colored glasses where he finally has everything under control and we, the audience and his loved one’s, don’t need to worry anymore. Then he died shortly after publishing the book due to a drug overdose. He ended his book with painfully fake optimism because he didn’t have a hopeful ending for himself. He was still suffering and there was not enough self-reflection or therapy in the world that could fix his damaged, and now permanently drug dependent brain. 

Lieu writes like she’s always in that rose colored glasses mode and it makes me wonder if she’s also unable or unwilling to actually pull back the curtain.

Idk maybe this seems harsh but the longer this went on, the more I felt like I couldn’t handle how cheesy and neutered her life was being presented. 

It was such a reflective book. It made me think about my own relationships with my family and how I grew up to be the typical Vietnamese story. My father was a cold, distant, blue-collar worker while my mom owned a nail-salon. It brought me to how shared our experiences can be and how connected everyone is. It made me feel not so alone. Truly an amazing book.

I first added this book to my to-read list before it was even published because I was so excited to read a memoir that seemed so relatable to my own story--a manicurist's daughter. Susan's mother died when she was 11 from a tummy tuck and she spends the majority of her life trying to seek an answer to who her mother was, what went wrong, and how to find a place for herself in a world without her mom. 

I saw the many comments that branded this book 'youngest child energy' and there were definitely some moments that I found myself understanding where critics came from. However, I have to remind myself that this is a memoir, someone else's story, and none of us are perfect. As a child of immigrants as well, knowing all of my family's money struggles growing up similarly to Susan, it was hard for me to get around

spending $14,000 on a yoga cult. And also many other decisions regarding the yoga cult tbh

. Even the portrayal of her older siblings initially appeared one-sided, though they must have clearly been suffering after their mother's death as well and having to worry about their youngest sister. We are able to see Susan's personal growth through her journey of self discovery and how she was able to finally connect with her siblings regarding their late mother.

I have so many positive things to say about this book. It truly described a no-holds barred immigrant child experience, rife with emotional repression, body shaming, and conflicts of Americanization. I loved that Susan included so many Vietnamese phrases and described dishes in such detail. Now being away from home for a bit (and away from any real Vietnamese epicenter), this book really helped me reflect on my own childhood, rich with delicious food and my own relationship with my parents. Every immigrant parent has sacrificed so much for the sake of their children, a lot of which goes unthanked. I think Susan honored her mother beautifully by researching her story and giving voice to her sacrifices. 

As an added plus, I started to retell this story to my mom, who was the most curious I've ever seen her. She loves that I'm reading an immigrant story, especially from a family that has common ground to our own. Stories like this make me want to hug my parents a little tighter the next time I'm home