1.5 stars This was funny in an over-the-top, cheesy kind of way. It took me a chapter or two to catch on that a Scottish village of over-sexed idiots was a deliberate choice. Good thing, too, or the body-shamed never-known-a-man's-touch virginal protagonist would have had no idea how to be a sexual tigress.

Sure, the child brides (and the fact that a teenage (?) boy finds a 9 yr old attractive), the casual references to village-approved sexual assault and rape (see Kitty's wedding celebration, amongst other references) are gross. But how can you be upset with a protagonist who experiences a "sharp explosion in her womb" as the height of sexual desire?

There actually could have been a serious plot--most evident when our handsome hero finally discovers the identity of the traitor, though the cause of the betrayal is the flimsiest of excuses. Instead of making more of revenge v forgiveness, let's cover that up with the village deciding that the obvious solution to a man forcing a woman to his ruined castle for rapacious purposes is to force them to get married. All while her sister laments that she can't be his intended victim.

Just to prove how witless everyone is, let's have the villagers try to kill our plucky protagonist twice--once giving her to a dragon & once burning her at the stake for surviving the dragon.

Oh, yes, the escape scene is comedic. It was an interesting authorial choice to make a doltish protagonist appear smart by dumbing down everyone else.

I really like Teresa Medeiros's writing. It's so pretty without feeling too fluffy and this book is no exception. I didn't super love how the heroine kept ragging on herself for being bigger than her sisters and I'm not a fan of books that break the characters up because they didn't have a 2 minute conversation to clarify their situation/feelings. But I really love a beauty and the beast retelling and had a fun time, so I can't complain too much.