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elle_aline's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.5
Eleanor deserves better people in her life.
I was disappointed by this story as a whole.
I went in with zero expectations, expecting trashy romance and only listened to the audiobook because the cover is beautiful (not with the people on it) and it was available at my library.
Well, I was very positively surprised when this turned out to be such an emotional story handling so much grief and sadness. During the first part my eyes got teary a few times.
Sadly the second part was not able to hold up. The more it went on the less I cared and less i was excited.
In general I want to mention that the book is very millennial with multiple Harry Potter references and reading harry potter is a relationship progressor in this book MULTIPLE times.
Also Gilmore girls. But you know, it's nor their fault. I cringed and laughed a little but I can live with it.
There's also the repetition of phrases that goes way overboard and is really cringe at times. Some were good like "I'm still here" / "still here" because they made sense and were tied to important moments and used in matching ones.
But gods I hate the "he has him, I was me and we were us" thing.
On its own the first part would obviously not have been complete, it does rush through things quite a bit, but it works really well as a backstory.
We get introduced to only two major things: the mothers death and illness and Grey.
The relationship in the first part is definitely not fleshed out, but again, as a backstory it works. The reader knows they are going to separate anyway and then fall in love again.
I really really liked this first part. It was sad and yet wholesome.
The mother was awesome and Grey was a good friend. The two were a cute couple. I liked what they did for each other.
It gave me vegan rep (yay! One time not being slandered in a book), mentioned gaslighting (Grey's family)
We got gaslighting portrayed pretty well.
The transitions their relationships made until they didn't speak for 16 years were realistic. I had been contemplating the whole time what could have happened and I was happy how it turned out.
The second part... now that I'm done I can say that I liked it significantly less.
What I did like was the children. Personally I think they were mostly realistic and I liked how Eleanor was with them.
I disagreed with a few of her choices, like bringing Grey along when Karla told her NOT to. Yes, it turned out well. But it could also have not. Eleanor breached Karlas trust and imho it seems insane not to drive to her IMMEDIATELY. Instead she made a detour collecting Grey and Lorelai, like girl Karla could be in danger!!! Stop dilly dallying.
This probably also wasn't the trope for me. Nanny x employer.
Eleanor often felt to me like she was biased towards Grey and not able to do her job properly.
She defended him SO MUCH. Too much. Whenever Karla complained about him Eleanor defended him. I understand that Grey had his own struggles but girl it's not your job to take care of him!!! It's the children you are supposed to be there.
This again became evident when Eleanor picked up Grey to get Karla.
I also don't understand how both of them didn't think about the children for a moment when they started being romantic again. It was good that the story didn't spend too much time on widowers guilt but the children!!! What about them. She is their nanny!!!
And as such these poor children who just lost their mother again lost their support system when Grey couldn't keep it in his pants.
I was so unhappy when Eleanor left. Yes, Karla was hurt. For a reason. But she still needed Eleanor.
In general it also felt like Eleanor was "grooming" Grey out of his grief directly into her arms. I know she had pure intentions but she literally helped him get over his dead wife so Eleanor could be with him.
That didn't sit right with me.
It all was just too soon. It hadn't even been a year since Nicole's death and Grey was in the middle of grieving. Yet shortly after Eleanor arrived he got over it.
It felt like Eleanor got his love as a prize for healing him.
Nicole was looming in the back anyway the whole time as Grey's perfect dead wife. It didn't help that we never got her story. She remained mysterious and unshakable.
Considering how much attention she got, I feel like it would have been better if we knew more about her so wr could better understand Grey's pain and THEN move on to Eleanor.
Eleanor as a character was muuuch more interesting in the first part. She had her own quirks and was a bit nlog like but it was fine!!! I enjoyed her.
In the second part she lost all of her charm.
While she made zero progress in her life she overcame all of her personality problems. Meaning she became a perfectly harmonious and flawless person taking care of everyone.
Yet in her own life she has achieved nothing! And i don't mean her job. While Grey found hid love, got married and had two children Eleanor got NOTHING. You are telling me this perfect individual has never again been truly in love or loved? As the only mentioned ex is horrible.
She also hasn't made any new friends!!! The only progress in her life is that her father is awful to her.
In conclusion I kind of lost my connection to her. She became nothing more than a healing machine for the men in her life, which was unsettling throughout the entire story but when it was EXPLICITLY stated that her purpose was to heal I got really angry.
And because she is so harmonious she is never sad, never angry and never struggles much. I simply could not feel her.
Grey
First part Grey was so nice. He was a little bit too perfect but I liked him, he was sweet.
Then in the second part he becomes sooo mean. Way too mean.
I have not gone through this pain so I cannot understand how much a person may change through loss of a loved one like your s/o but to me it was too much.
Ignoring her on their first meeting, asking her to call him mr. East and generally being impolite was just not cool.
Then he suddenly transforms into a nice guy again (healing machine Eleanor did that). The transition was too fast!!!
Relationship
Very sudden and nor romantic
The break at the end was anticlimactic
As said I enjoyed their brief relationship in part one. It was very sweet. They matched each other well and gave each other something.
Their interactions were adorable and I liked it when they were together.
Part two was.... not good for them.
I was unsettled when it became clear that their romance would flourish not even a year after Grey lost his wife. I'm all for moving on and loving again and I know that everyone grieves differently but it was too soon!!! Grey evidently was still in the middle of his grieving process and not ready to love again.
Since Grey was so cold and mean to her in the beginning I could not understand what she saw in Grey, why she was falling again. Rather it felt like she had never fallen out of love or just clinged to the memories she had of him. This is not romance!!!
Zero emotions from me when they almost kissed. I just didn't understand why they would feel that way towards each other and I thought "wait aren't you still grieving your wife???".
Then that talk Grey had with the grandma, ugh. Personally it took the slightest tension there was out of me. Also, Grey talking about this guilt he was feeling... what guilt? I haven't seen it. Give me gnawing week long guilt paired with desire for Eleanor. Don't just tell me about it.
When they kissed and slept with each other it was so awkward to me. Zero chemistry.
That's the other thing!!! They lost their chemistry.
Personally I don't think the "Nicole" incident was that bad. Name mix ups happen. Grey ans Nicole had been together for years and it's only natural that such an incident happened.
However, the way Eleanor was obviously hurt by it but dropped it was weird. Yes, she ended the relationship but it was not the confrontation I needed. Esp since she just kept on being his friend and had so much understanding for him. She didn't have to be mad, but like, show your emotions girl!!!
I completely agree that Grey was not ready but 1. I did not feel it, like show me ON PAGE that something is amiss, not a very normal name mix up and 2. Being aware of it being too soon does not change that the main part of their romance played out in that time!!!!
Then after the whole break they are "discovered" yet again and go into a real extremely anticlimactic break. I hated that.
When they get back together I couldn't have cared less.
There should have been way more time been invested into how they fell in love again and their romantic relationship.
Show me why Grey fell in love again after losing the supposed love of his life!!! Show me how they are together and don't time jump through the sparse couple time they have.
Like this Eleanor just felt like the second best choice and it didn't even feel like love but more like convenience.
Children
I genuinely liked the children.
Grey was a horrible father and Eleanor a difficult nanny. She did good but was cleary biased towards Grey.
The book suffered a lot because of the romance because it took away from the children. Karlas grief and journey was much more interesting than the shitty love story we got.
I also despise Eleanors father. Grieving your shit ass wife for 16 years while you have a daughter???? Awful. The author wanted to show what grief can do to people I guess but going from Eleanor having a fantastic relationship with her father to him having neglected her for years.
The meeting at the end was NOTHING to soothe my anger. I hate this man. I'm sorry. Grief is not an excuse. You have a child. I wanted Eleanor to get angry and throw something. But she was just mildly sad and left. Girl say it!! ! Say "and if I died tomorrow would you still not want to see me?". This man has seen how precious time with a loved one can be and still would rather cry in his house than see you, the daughter said wife left behind.
He did not deserve such a daughter and the way she kinda forgave him was expected but disappointing.
In conclusion I did not expect to give this book this kind of rating because I was really surprised by how much I liked the first 30 %. Sadly the second part got progressively worse.
It would have been better without the romance in the second part.
What the book does best is grief and loss of a loved one. I have to keep that I my mind giving this rating because I am so upset having finished it that I am forgetting the book's strengths.
I was disappointed by this story as a whole.
I went in with zero expectations, expecting trashy romance and only listened to the audiobook because the cover is beautiful (not with the people on it) and it was available at my library.
Well, I was very positively surprised when this turned out to be such an emotional story handling so much grief and sadness. During the first part my eyes got teary a few times.
Sadly the second part was not able to hold up. The more it went on the less I cared and less i was excited.
In general I want to mention that the book is very millennial with multiple Harry Potter references and reading harry potter is a relationship progressor in this book MULTIPLE times.
Also Gilmore girls. But you know, it's nor their fault. I cringed and laughed a little but I can live with it.
There's also the repetition of phrases that goes way overboard and is really cringe at times. Some were good like "I'm still here" / "still here" because they made sense and were tied to important moments and used in matching ones.
But gods I hate the "he has him, I was me and we were us" thing.
On its own the first part would obviously not have been complete, it does rush through things quite a bit, but it works really well as a backstory.
We get introduced to only two major things: the mothers death and illness and Grey.
The relationship in the first part is definitely not fleshed out, but again, as a backstory it works. The reader knows they are going to separate anyway and then fall in love again.
I really really liked this first part. It was sad and yet wholesome.
The mother was awesome and Grey was a good friend. The two were a cute couple. I liked what they did for each other.
It gave me vegan rep (yay! One time not being slandered in a book), mentioned gaslighting (Grey's family)
We got gaslighting portrayed pretty well.
The transitions their relationships made until they didn't speak for 16 years were realistic. I had been contemplating the whole time what could have happened and I was happy how it turned out.
The second part... now that I'm done I can say that I liked it significantly less.
What I did like was the children. Personally I think they were mostly realistic and I liked how Eleanor was with them.
I disagreed with a few of her choices, like bringing Grey along when Karla told her NOT to. Yes, it turned out well. But it could also have not. Eleanor breached Karlas trust and imho it seems insane not to drive to her IMMEDIATELY. Instead she made a detour collecting Grey and Lorelai, like girl Karla could be in danger!!! Stop dilly dallying.
This probably also wasn't the trope for me. Nanny x employer.
Eleanor often felt to me like she was biased towards Grey and not able to do her job properly.
She defended him SO MUCH. Too much. Whenever Karla complained about him Eleanor defended him. I understand that Grey had his own struggles but girl it's not your job to take care of him!!! It's the children you are supposed to be there.
This again became evident when Eleanor picked up Grey to get Karla.
I also don't understand how both of them didn't think about the children for a moment when they started being romantic again. It was good that the story didn't spend too much time on widowers guilt but the children!!! What about them. She is their nanny!!!
And as such these poor children who just lost their mother again lost their support system when Grey couldn't keep it in his pants.
I was so unhappy when Eleanor left. Yes, Karla was hurt. For a reason. But she still needed Eleanor.
In general it also felt like Eleanor was "grooming" Grey out of his grief directly into her arms. I know she had pure intentions but she literally helped him get over his dead wife so Eleanor could be with him.
That didn't sit right with me.
It all was just too soon. It hadn't even been a year since Nicole's death and Grey was in the middle of grieving. Yet shortly after Eleanor arrived he got over it.
It felt like Eleanor got his love as a prize for healing him.
Nicole was looming in the back anyway the whole time as Grey's perfect dead wife. It didn't help that we never got her story. She remained mysterious and unshakable.
Considering how much attention she got, I feel like it would have been better if we knew more about her so wr could better understand Grey's pain and THEN move on to Eleanor.
Eleanor as a character was muuuch more interesting in the first part. She had her own quirks and was a bit nlog like but it was fine!!! I enjoyed her.
In the second part she lost all of her charm.
While she made zero progress in her life she overcame all of her personality problems. Meaning she became a perfectly harmonious and flawless person taking care of everyone.
Yet in her own life she has achieved nothing! And i don't mean her job. While Grey found hid love, got married and had two children Eleanor got NOTHING. You are telling me this perfect individual has never again been truly in love or loved? As the only mentioned ex is horrible.
She also hasn't made any new friends!!! The only progress in her life is that her father is awful to her.
In conclusion I kind of lost my connection to her. She became nothing more than a healing machine for the men in her life, which was unsettling throughout the entire story but when it was EXPLICITLY stated that her purpose was to heal I got really angry.
And because she is so harmonious she is never sad, never angry and never struggles much. I simply could not feel her.
Grey
First part Grey was so nice. He was a little bit too perfect but I liked him, he was sweet.
Then in the second part he becomes sooo mean. Way too mean.
I have not gone through this pain so I cannot understand how much a person may change through loss of a loved one like your s/o but to me it was too much.
Ignoring her on their first meeting, asking her to call him mr. East and generally being impolite was just not cool.
Then he suddenly transforms into a nice guy again (healing machine Eleanor did that). The transition was too fast!!!
Relationship
Very sudden and nor romantic
The break at the end was anticlimactic
As said I enjoyed their brief relationship in part one. It was very sweet. They matched each other well and gave each other something.
Their interactions were adorable and I liked it when they were together.
Part two was.... not good for them.
I was unsettled when it became clear that their romance would flourish not even a year after Grey lost his wife. I'm all for moving on and loving again and I know that everyone grieves differently but it was too soon!!! Grey evidently was still in the middle of his grieving process and not ready to love again.
Since Grey was so cold and mean to her in the beginning I could not understand what she saw in Grey, why she was falling again. Rather it felt like she had never fallen out of love or just clinged to the memories she had of him. This is not romance!!!
Zero emotions from me when they almost kissed. I just didn't understand why they would feel that way towards each other and I thought "wait aren't you still grieving your wife???".
Then that talk Grey had with the grandma, ugh. Personally it took the slightest tension there was out of me. Also, Grey talking about this guilt he was feeling... what guilt? I haven't seen it. Give me gnawing week long guilt paired with desire for Eleanor. Don't just tell me about it.
When they kissed and slept with each other it was so awkward to me. Zero chemistry.
That's the other thing!!! They lost their chemistry.
Personally I don't think the "Nicole" incident was that bad. Name mix ups happen. Grey ans Nicole had been together for years and it's only natural that such an incident happened.
However, the way Eleanor was obviously hurt by it but dropped it was weird. Yes, she ended the relationship but it was not the confrontation I needed. Esp since she just kept on being his friend and had so much understanding for him. She didn't have to be mad, but like, show your emotions girl!!!
I completely agree that Grey was not ready but 1. I did not feel it, like show me ON PAGE that something is amiss, not a very normal name mix up and 2. Being aware of it being too soon does not change that the main part of their romance played out in that time!!!!
Then after the whole break they are "discovered" yet again and go into a real extremely anticlimactic break. I hated that.
When they get back together I couldn't have cared less.
There should have been way more time been invested into how they fell in love again and their romantic relationship.
Show me why Grey fell in love again after losing the supposed love of his life!!! Show me how they are together and don't time jump through the sparse couple time they have.
Like this Eleanor just felt like the second best choice and it didn't even feel like love but more like convenience.
Children
I genuinely liked the children.
Grey was a horrible father and Eleanor a difficult nanny. She did good but was cleary biased towards Grey.
The book suffered a lot because of the romance because it took away from the children. Karlas grief and journey was much more interesting than the shitty love story we got.
I also despise Eleanors father. Grieving your shit ass wife for 16 years while you have a daughter???? Awful. The author wanted to show what grief can do to people I guess but going from Eleanor having a fantastic relationship with her father to him having neglected her for years.
The meeting at the end was NOTHING to soothe my anger. I hate this man. I'm sorry. Grief is not an excuse. You have a child. I wanted Eleanor to get angry and throw something. But she was just mildly sad and left. Girl say it!! ! Say "and if I died tomorrow would you still not want to see me?". This man has seen how precious time with a loved one can be and still would rather cry in his house than see you, the daughter said wife left behind.
He did not deserve such a daughter and the way she kinda forgave him was expected but disappointing.
In conclusion I did not expect to give this book this kind of rating because I was really surprised by how much I liked the first 30 %. Sadly the second part got progressively worse.
It would have been better without the romance in the second part.
What the book does best is grief and loss of a loved one. I have to keep that I my mind giving this rating because I am so upset having finished it that I am forgetting the book's strengths.
josydushi's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
The author repeats herself very often.
hannah26's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.25
lunaartemis's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
steriddle's review against another edition
emotional
funny
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
ktomalley's review against another edition
3.0
Definitely corny is some places but very cute and made me all sad & stuff
booklovershangout's review against another edition
4.0
Stunning! This story is absolutely beautiful. The words are poetic and the story completely stole my heart. So much emotion evoked in this story. These characters are well developed and memorable. They are also completely relatable. I found myself wanting to know their story and wanting to know more about them. I also found myself rooting for them and wanting everything to work out in the end. I loved this story so much and Brittainy is definitely a one-click author for me.
rihoward's review against another edition
5.0
First 6 "I am still here"stars Of the year.
Nothing like spending your night crying and laughing from a fictional book. This book is a maelstrom of emotions. From gut-wrenching feelings to moments of joy. This book plain and simply was heartbreak juxtaposed with hope. In typical fashion, this author worked her magic and created a story that will remain etched into the template of who I am. I ugly cried. I had to take moments to remind myself to breathe. I felt like I was drowning.
Every character in this story was one of a kind. I should have known that before I went into the story because this author always pens such unique and lovable characters. Yet, after reading this book, I am not sure even The Elements series (which says something because that series is in my all-time favorites vault) could hold a candle to what this book meant to my heart.
This book healed me in ways that I didn't know I was broken. I found a sense of peace in these characters and all that they had gone through. The stylistic choice and way that she phrased certain simples was out of this world. Even simple words of, "still here" had meaning that I never even understood until they were in the context of this book.
I can not say enough about this book other than this one hurts but sometimes pain isn't a bad thing. Sometimes, it is the catalyst needed for transformation. I needed that gentle reminder. Especially of late and in particular today.
Nothing like spending your night crying and laughing from a fictional book. This book is a maelstrom of emotions. From gut-wrenching feelings to moments of joy. This book plain and simply was heartbreak juxtaposed with hope. In typical fashion, this author worked her magic and created a story that will remain etched into the template of who I am. I ugly cried. I had to take moments to remind myself to breathe. I felt like I was drowning.
Every character in this story was one of a kind. I should have known that before I went into the story because this author always pens such unique and lovable characters. Yet, after reading this book, I am not sure even The Elements series (which says something because that series is in my all-time favorites vault) could hold a candle to what this book meant to my heart.
This book healed me in ways that I didn't know I was broken. I found a sense of peace in these characters and all that they had gone through. The stylistic choice and way that she phrased certain simples was out of this world. Even simple words of, "still here" had meaning that I never even understood until they were in the context of this book.
I can not say enough about this book other than this one hurts but sometimes pain isn't a bad thing. Sometimes, it is the catalyst needed for transformation. I needed that gentle reminder. Especially of late and in particular today.
jaslvsbks's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5