Too much ableism to take seriously and it got increasingly repetitive that I felt I was not retaining anything by the end bc I kept zoning out. It was revelatory though, that for all their faults, my parents were emotionally mature when it came to raising me and made me feel I mattered. Like my dad hits most of the emotionally immature, externalizer checklists (lol) but in general he was surprisingly attentive to me growing up and not in a manipulative way or anything like in some of the examples provided here. So I thought I was gonna end up trashing my parents but no, I'm actually surprised that they were PARENTS parents to me. Who knew? So my focus went on how this book is so ableist and dunks on neurodivergent people ridiculously a lot, why are people praising it so much? Also, when she starts describing externalizers vs. internalizers it felt like reading the horoscope and she kept referecing old, Cold War era studies. But after reading this part in the book, it's not surprising.

That sounds red flaggy to me idk. And to reach her hard set conclusions this dr. has to be super simplistic and conveniently ignores a bunch of social, racial, economic and mental factors. Like I don't pretend to know more than her but the book feels incomplete to me bc of that, but maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

heavy ableism in some areas, specifically regarding neurodivergencies including autism/adhd/cluster b personality disorders. enough good bits to prevent a 1 star for the heavy ableism, but YIKES. two reviews that put it into words better than i can:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2708291211

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3910562360

Great book! Provided a lot of language to help articulate my experience. Had a lot realizations. Would recommend and would read again!