thank you to st. putnam’s group for young readers and penguin teen for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

after reading give me a sign last year, i was really looking forward to sortino’s next release. if i knew one thing, it would pull at my heartstrings and it would have amazing disability rep. and i was not disappointment in those aspects when i read on the bright side.

here, we follow ellie, a teen girl who’s the only deaf in her family, struggling to adjust to a new school her senior year. and jackson, a soccer playing teen, who’s life begins to change before his eyes as he undergoes a diagnosis of a lifelong disability. together, they both grow and learn, and learn to love one another despite their hardships and any communications they may have since jackson doesn’t know sign and ellie’s hearing aids + cochlear implants can only go so far.

i truly loved seeing their story lines, ellie, learning to navigate living at home again for the first time in five years. adjusting to a hearing school. and trying to immerse herself in as much of a deaf culture as she’s able to. now, as i have and will continue to say, i am not deaf. nor do i know anyone direclty who is. so i won’t comment specifically on the accuracy of the rep. but what i can say, is that i truly feel for ellie. she spends a lot of the book trying to get her family to even somewhat communicate in a way that she can process, without much luck. often leading to arguments and coldness. i loved seeing ellie grow in her confidence, in having her community. to the point where she was able to start to have that open communication with her family. and i’d like to think that someday in their future, her parents are learning ASL and doing all the right things.

i don’t know if i loved ellie’s or jackson’s story more. i think possibly jackson, just because his diagnosis odyssey just hit so close to home. i can deeply understand jackson’s sheer relief when there’s just an answer for his problems. that he can know why the reason’s his body may have failed out on him. while it was tough at times to read him get his MS diagnosis, i know that his story is invaluable to share. i don’t have MS either, although i do deal with a lot of symptoms he does. so i can truly understand the difficulty when your body shuts down on you to the point of being bedridden. to me, his story felt so authentic to the chronic illness/pain that i, and many others, deal with. and i appreciate that despite his parent’s apprehensive feelings towards medical care that they did not stop him from getting the treatments he needs. it’s a good was to show how jackson deserved his own agency for his health, regardless of how old he is at diagnosis.

and of course, as much as i adore ellie and jackson separately, i adore them even more together. following their relationship grow. from the very messy bits, to the sweet and beautiful ones. i think they show each other that when you care for the person, you will stick with them through the difficult times. whether that means, from literally being bedridden with pain and fatigue. i truly loved seeing them have the chance to work through their difficult emotions separately when needed, and together when requested. truly, what we all need!

clearly, i really enjoyed this one. and i highly recommend this one, especially to understand the difficulties of undergoing a diagnosis for a chronic illness. jackson was “lucky” to be diagnosed so early in his odyssey. but it does truly show how long it can take, like when he was turned away at his first urgent care appointment. i think it’s so insightful, while also having an escapism feeling through their budding romance.

it had it’s moments that were questionable (ellie and her ex storyline mostly. and i also wish liam’s character was addressed). but overall i think this is a lovely little book.