• MM/Bi-Awakening
• Friends to Lovers
• New Adult (College)
• Baseball
• Standalone
• Angsty Third Act Breakup
  
  
  
• Keene and Aspen are BFF who kissed in HS; this was the beginning of Keene realizing he’s gay
• Keene is a popular baseball player and Pen doesn’t like to party but would do anything for Keene to be happy
• At a party, they are dared (“Don’t you dare?”) to kiss again and Keene shoves Pen away bc he doesn’t want to think about his feelings for Pen anymore
• Keene joins Toppr and starts talking to a guy who he eventually realizes is on his baseball team; he stops chatting to him when things with Pen get more serious
• FUCKING AVERY (The homosexual homophobe who taunts Keene)
• The first scene when they are in their own beds sending pics and videos back and forth, hearing each other pant and moan through the wall
• The Facetime shower scene, watching each other get off
• They fall for each other but Pen is too afraid so he leaves Keene devastated and then goes on their annual summer trip without him for 2 months to collect his thoughts
  
  

Yet he almost always forgets something whenever he leaves for an away series, even if he’s learned to pack the night before, thanks to yours truly. Most of the time it’s socks, so I’ve learned to pack an extra pair in his duffle, just in case.

No matter how many friends he has or how popular he gets as the years pass, I’m still his number one. Just like he’s mine. We might’ve been basically family since we were born, but we still choose each other. Always have, always will. And damn if that doesn’t make me feel like a million bucks.

How the hell am I supposed to do this? Admit that, ever since that stupid dare... I’ve looked at him a little differently. In a way that’s more aching want than friendship, because the sound and taste and feel of him from the night we kissed have all been seared into my brain with a white-hot brand ever since.

“Look. I’ve been wishing I could just get over whatever happened that night for a long time, Pen. But I can’t. I’ve tried.” “I just wish you would’ve told me. So you didn’t have to go through it alone.” 

“It’s sex, Kee. And if sex with you feels as good as it does with any other partner I’ve had, then…” He trails off and shrugs again. “Then that’s all I really need to know about it.”

“You know this could fuck up everything, right?” “I know.” His smile is soft and reassuring. “Believe me, I know it could. But I also know I’m not gonna let you figure it out with anyone else but me. Call it possessiveness or jealousy, I don’t care. But it’s not happening with anyone else, so you might as well get on your knees right now before I walk out the door and make you come begging for it.”

“I just deal because you like taking pictures of me, and I like making you happy.” My stomach swirls at his declaration. “Really?”

Friendship is a lot more fun when kissing’s involved.

And sure, I don’t like being away from Aspen for more than a day or two at a time, but I’ve always just attributed that to our slightly unhealthy level of codependency. Of always being near each other since I was born, which is the fault of no one but our parents.

But he made it clear that we’re not messing around tonight until he’s ready for this test, and like the good best friend and sex partner I am, I’ve listened. 🤣 

Because the way he’s looking at me right now, the amount of emotion in his gaze, I can’t handle it. The fire in his eyes ignites every single cell in my body. My fucking soul.

I’m too busy being dick-drunk on Aspen Kohl.

“I’ll never hurt you,” he murmurs, teeth scraping against my shoulder. “I’d rather die.” The vulnerability in his words slices me open, leaving me raw and bare like never before. And I don’t have it in me to tell him that he’s already hurting me. He fucking hurts me with every touch, look, or kiss, painting an impossible picture in my brain. That this is real. That he might love me. But I know he doesn’t. Not the way I love him.

Because I don’t want him to own my body alone. I want him to take my heart and soul too. Everything I have to give, I want him to own. Make his and protect it. Cherish it.

There’s only one way to survive being so stupidly in love with him. We have to stop. Otherwise, I’ll destroy everything. 

So do it. Go, if that’s what you want.” I shake my head, my voice cut and shredded by shards of glass. “Just don’t bother coming back.”

“I know you well enough to realize you’re going to rip this conversation apart in your mind one day soon. Overthink it, analyze it to shreds. But just remember, when that moment happens? You’re the one who chose to end this… and I was the one who wanted to fight.”

The single tear that slides down his cheek is enough to fracture what remains of my heart, because all I want is to brush it away. 💔

You’re the unexpected inevitable.

“I dare you to let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. Wholly. Completely. And out in the open, where the world can see.” My throat constricts around the words, but I continue to push them out anyway. “I love you. I’m so stupidly in love with you. And I dare you to love me too.” ❤️‍🩹

I’m giving you the power to hurt me all over again, and I wanna know my heart is safe with you.”

“Living without you isn’t an option anymore, Keene. It never really was.”

“You’ve always known my heart better than anyone else. You and me, Kee. It’s always been you and me.”