I buddy- read this book with my friend Salam. It sarted off slow and tedious, but after the first 100 pages or so it picked up pace and I was able to flow into the story seamlessly. In the beginning the characters were not distinct to me and I could not tell you who is who (At one point I made a little list with their attributes to remember) but as we got to know them, each individual voice became distinguishable. But that rocky beginning hindered my ability to connect with the characters on a deep level. Even though I ballled my eyes out, it was not for the moments something major happened to these characters, but it was over a very humane notion. A sentence that hit deep. A small thought that is so dark and sad.. and true.

And that is what I appreciate about this book. It is not afraid to say the things we think about unconsciously but never dare utter. It linges forth and grabs human's deepest darkest thought and presents them in front of us to face. Some of the lines here are things I would never forget and I will keep thinking about for a long time.

*The Characters:
I loved Malcom. And I wish we had spent more time exploring his story, background, racial identity crisis, and his life. Because though the story is marketed as the story of this group of friends it becomes apparemt that there is a singular main protagonist, who is Jude. So primarily thisbis the story of Jude.
And Jude is an interesting character. Someone who you can easily sympathise with. But who at the same time gives you that same feeling of helplessness that the people around him felt. That you want to shake him and fix him and tell him everything he believes about himself is not true. And it is frustrating, yet so realistic, this feeling, and how it's portrayed throughout this novel.
Willem is the best friend we don't deserve, yet I wish when we were reading from his POV that we could see how he struggles with the savior's complex, and how draining it is to be on the other side of the relationship.
I loved Harold and Juila. Most of all Harold. He was the ideal father figure, and he was honest and genuine and pure. It saddened me the moment Jude would think Harold might hurt him, but I could not blame him with all the taruma he carried.
I disliked JB and I think he was written to be an antagonist kind of narrator, he was always saying the wrong thing or doing the weing thing, being insensitive, jealous, and full of envy. And I could not empathize with him.. till the very end.

A downside of this novel is that the characters never acted their age. In the beginning I atrributed this to them not having the convenient life of middle aged men (A Wife, 9-5 job, Kids) but even without these elements, they weren't believable as 50-year olds. The way they talked, behaved, thought were of young people. I couldn't imagine them past late 20s. Even on my mind I could not picture them as old as they were being described, in addition to their growth not being displayed throught the dufferent phases of the book. They satred and ended at the same level. So it was unbelievable.

Another thing is, the writing was flowy, made you keep reading despite the subject matter that made you not want to pick the book up, however, I found myse lost at time on whose POV we were reading from and who was talking. Which was a little unsettling, before one could adjust to it.

Overall, I would recommend this book of you're looking for something with an emotional impact (or let's be honest: Want to cry) just make sure you are aware of the content warnings.