This is definitely one of the most beautiful but devastating books I’ve ever read. Like we all knew the ending going into this book, but I didn’t expect it to hurt this much. We got to see the most beautiful, sweet, kind, and bright human to ever exist, and to see her one love 😢. Even in death, her light never faded or dulled.  Mak was the epitome of a grumpy character, someone who was neglected as a child, made his way through the slums with his cousin and finally found the brightness in life. Adena and Mak were so perfect for each other. I’m so mad and sad to see their time was ripped away from them. I have never sobbed as much as did for these characters in my life. I thought I cried a lot reading Kingdom of ash, but it doesn’t compare to this. Like I cried so much, I have nothing left inside me. I’m literally numb. Like I’m pretty sure Adena’s fate is set in stone, but I am still holding hope that Lauren Roberts has something up her sleeve, because it’s so cruel to show us Adena’s shining soul and her blooming romance with Mak just to take it away. And I had read the last chapters before starting this, so all the references to the sun hurt my heart. But as soon as Adena and Mak had their first and last kiss, their last interaction, I started crying. Like chapter 18 and beyond, my eyes were filled with tears and more kept coming. I know for a fact I will never get over this book, these two beautiful characters, and this ending. I seriously hope Lauren Robert’s will heal my heart in some way. 

 

*major spoilers ahead* 

“If there is a God, this man is certainly proof that He has His favorites. He's breathtaking in the way I would imagine a stab wound to be, so handsome it's piercing. Like a blade, everything about him is sharp and cold.” 

 

“There is not a single cynical thought to deny the fact that she may be the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. She's intimidatingly peaceful—a contradiction in itself. And I almost want to despise her for it. Because I fear there is a chance that I may begin to enjoy her.” 

 

“She is an intoxicating sort of exhausting, like running until you've lost your breath but enjoying the feeling all the while. And I feel as though I've been sprinting for days.” 

 

“You did the right thing. Run to me. Always run to me." 

 

“Even in the midst of crying, she manages to glow, as though each tear were a drop of sunlight.” 

 

“He makes me happy, for whatever absurdly odd reason. He's not exactly a ray of sunshine, but perhaps something. equivalent to a moonbeam. Mysterious and unnerving. Equally as beautiful, yet, soft enough to stare at.” 

 

“Because now there is her and every moment after her. I had never known happiness before her. But if there is to be an after in which she doesn’t exist, I know I never will again.” !!!! 😭😭 

 

“But you ... you're the embodiment of everything I am not. And yet, here I am, crawling back to you as though I've left a piece of myself behind. And it scares the shit out of me." 

 

"Well, I'm glad my work was convincing." 

"Yeah, it was perfect. And all for nothing. I'm sorry I wasted your time." 

"I was with you. How could that have been a waste of time?" 

 

“He stole your smile. No wonder you didn’t have one to give me.” 

“I’ll find one. Steal it back if I must. For you.” 

“And I’ll cherish it.” 

 

“This pile of garbage is all I’ve got.” 

“I thought you had me?” 

“Do I?” 

“So long as you’ll take me.” 

 

“If darkness is the absence of light, then that is what I am when she is not around. And I wonder how I've stumbled this long without her to guide me.” 

 

“I’m sorry that I’m the first to give you a gift.” 

“I’m not. I would have waited another nineteen years if it meant you were the first good memory I was gifted.” 

“But you deserve more than one good memory.” 

“Then it’s a good thing I’m planning on keeping you around.” 

 

"I'm quite sure that even the stars are envious of you." 

"What?" 

"You make even the stars envious. Because one day—far from now— you will be up there beside them, outshining every single one." 

"And will you be beside me up there?" 

"If I should be so lucky." 

"Promise me. I don't want to be alone." 😭😭😭😭 

"I promise, Dena." 

 

"You are the sweetest thing I have never tasted. And I doubt I've craved anything more." 

 

He does something then. Something far more intimate than any kiss or touch so far. No, he pulls back far enough to let me see him smile. It's big and bright and beautifully his. 

"For me?" 

"Every single one.” 

 

"I'm tripping into you, Mak." 

"Tripping into me?" 

"I don't fall for someone. I trip uncontrollably toward them before inevitably hitting the ground." 

"Well, I would catch you, Dena, but it seems we're going down together." 

 

"She will certainly be turning heads, though, that's no surprise." 

"So, you're okay with her not wearing green?" 

"Of course. I wouldn't want her to blend in." 

 

“And that's the terrible truth of it. I want her. What did she call it? Tripping into me? Because somewhere along the way, I started my trip into her. And now there is no stopping my violent careen.” 

 

And there she is, outshining everyone. In a way, she's always been the sun. Always the brightness that existed despite the presence of such darkness. 

"Thanks for picking the closest star, Dena. Looks like you'll be around to keep me company." 😭😭😭 

 

“In the end, it was all light and dark, loud and soft. I knew nothing but the memory of those I loved. One, a friend. The other, unfinished. And that alone is what I took with me into the next life. But I watched, warm and bright and high above. Just as he promised.”