I borrowed this from the library, but 30 pages in I was in Dymocks buying a copy. I was prepared to identify heavily with this book, but it was so much more. I wanted to highlight every single sentence - I think Warrington is living in my brain. 

A big throughline for the book is emotional inheritance, but Warrington takes it far beyond immediate family and puts it in a broader context. For women, this inheritance happens on a societal level and has been handed down through the generations for thousands of years. Yes, we're talking patriarchy. Here she quotes Adrienne Rich in defining the "distinction between the act of mothering and the 'patriarchal institution' of motherhood... the regulation of women's reproductive power by men... are all essential to the patriarchal system, as is the negative or suspect status of women who are not mothers". Some people might doubt this idea, but I cannot untangle my decision not to have children from these things. 

Everything was a moment of feeling very seen, but for me, the chapter 'If Not Mother' was one of the strongest. In a society where womanhood is defined by motherhood, what are we if not a mother? The idea that becoming a parent grants you respectability and maturity, entry into adulthood if you will, is baffling to me but I also feel my peers making this judgement of me. My choice is confronting too so many who are threatened by it and seem to think my choice says something about them. The binary that divides us is a sad thing, but to be honest I don't believe the defensiveness is coming from non-mothers. At least I won't get burnt at the stake these days. Hopefully. 

In reality, this book is a push to bridge that divide, and I think everyone should read it, no matter your choice. Like Angea Saini's The Patriarchs, it reminds you of the context in which we make all our choices. If the world was different would I make a different choice? Who knows. All I know is that this is the right one for me.