Pretending by Holly Bourne is maybe the greatest novel I’ve read in the last few years. Not because it’s set to be a literary masterpiece and win the Man Booker but because it represents the experiences, feelings and hurt of so. many. women. It is a cuddle to every woman out there who has been through an experience that they shouldn’t have had to at the hands of a man. And, whilst I promised myself I wouldn’t turn this review into a rant - I feel like every woman has some experience of feeling threatened, belittled and/or abused by a man. And so many men just DON’T get it because they come from a place of male privilege. Even intelligent, gentle and kind men I’ve met in the past have not understood their privilege purely by being a man. And, despite me describing experiences to them that made me uncomfortable, they can’t see anything inherently wrong with their male peers. It’s a continuous cycle of explaining what it’s like to be a woman and then being told your feelings aren’t valid and perhaps you’re overdramatising something etc continue ad infinitum. My favourite story of male privilege was when I complained to HR of the company I worked for that I felt my (male) boss was being sexist and I felt uncomfortable in the workplace. His (lol, yes, male HR) solution was ‘it’s not that bad, in 20 years time you’ll just look back and laugh.’ GOD how I wished I had the balls to do something about that. Instead I just sat there gormlessly.

ANYWAY, this novel is wonderful in so many ways. It is witty, moving, educating, accessible, relatable and, most of all, honest. It isn’t a laugh a minute and there is some hard-hitting stuff within the pages but I think it highlights the plight of so many women of being abused at the hands of a partner or lover who they think they should put up with because they love them. It restored my faith in women and gave me a sense of strength to keep pushing through the male dominated spheres in my world. It was also strangely cathartic and provided me with the chance to reflect on my own experiences and re-validate them and confirm that I’m not just being ‘overdramatic’.

There was one line in the book, that I can’t remember word for word so please excuse my crude interpretation, but it was something along the lines of this:

Statistics say that 1 in 4 women will be raped but actually it’s more like 1 in 4 women WON’T be raped.

And it just hit me so hard in the feels. And WOMEN, we are strong and beautiful, and we put up with SO MUCH. And please just read this book.