“does it scare you? that i’m fucking you in the same room as death?”

this book is my holy grail. i’ve been looking for a dark ff mafia romance for what feels like forever. the homophobic subplot in mafia surrounding gay men is easily found and there’s even mm stories out there, but a mafia book for queer women written by queer women? and there’s no internalized lesbophobia or closeted fmcs? most women in the mafia are either pawns or princesses, but not these two. a female heir to a gang she doesn’t want and a female enforcer that makes grown men cry, they are the chess players that end up dominating the entire board game. one was forced into the life, not able to defend herself and the other was saved from life and taught how to protect herself. so to have their first time be after a sparring session because nessa wanted to teach shivy how to fight added so many layers to the bond they share. but the climax of it all was the church scene. two queer women in the house of a god neither of them believes in praying to each other, desecrating sacred ground with blasphemous confessions, sexual penance and spit as the blood of christ was a religious experience for me.