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A review by nikki_flowers
Flamer by Mike Curato
4.0
I won a copy of Flamer as a part of a Goodreads giveaway. This has not affected my review, which I am writing voluntarily.
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I grew up in a relatively progressive and LGBTQ+ accepting area but in high school, I moved to a very conservative area. The school I went to at the time even forced me into LGBTQ+ "conversion therapy" without my parents' knowledge or consent. I remember struggling with many of the same emotions depicted in this book. While I wasn't religious I was surrounded by a religious community that viewed my sexuality as a sin—as a danger to them and their loved ones. Reading this book definitely healed something inside of me.
I think this book is important for kids to read for many reasons. Some may say the way Mike Curato chose to discuss this topic and the language he used was vulgar or graphic. But I think it's important for kids to understand what homophobia commonly looked like in the 90s. Homophobia may look different today, though not always, but it's important for kids to understand what it looked like in the past. To understand where these sentiments they still see today came from. To understand how the pain of homophobia from every time period, including the 90s, still resides within many of the people surrounding them—parents, teachers, family members, community members, etc. It is a part of queer history. We cannot hope to achieve true queer liberation if we don't teach children about the past. And it can easily be argued that what's depicted in this book is far from "in the past".
This book was humorous at times
and heavy at times
Both are important parts of queer stories and are sentiments I could deeply relate to. Thank you Mike Curato for this book, for providing a story for children to learn from and relate to, and for providing me an opportunity to heal as well.
My one criticism, and I feel it is a pretty major one, is the part that implies that Aiden's abusive father loves him. I'm not ok with portraying child abuse as some kind of "loving father who has lost his way". Nope. Abuse is abuse is abuse. Plain and simple. I don't care if his father supposedly "actually loves Aiden" despite his abusive actions. He's abusive and that's not ok. I do still think you can utilize this book in schools. But just make sure that when this part comes up to have an explicit conversation with the kids. Explain why this part of the story is flawed and that abuse is never OK or justifiable. Make really clear that whether or not an abuser claims they love you doesn't matter because the fact that you're being abused matters.
___
I grew up in a relatively progressive and LGBTQ+ accepting area but in high school, I moved to a very conservative area. The school I went to at the time even forced me into LGBTQ+ "conversion therapy" without my parents' knowledge or consent. I remember struggling with many of the same emotions depicted in this book. While I wasn't religious I was surrounded by a religious community that viewed my sexuality as a sin—as a danger to them and their loved ones. Reading this book definitely healed something inside of me.
I think this book is important for kids to read for many reasons. Some may say the way Mike Curato chose to discuss this topic and the language he used was vulgar or graphic. But I think it's important for kids to understand what homophobia commonly looked like in the 90s. Homophobia may look different today, though not always, but it's important for kids to understand what it looked like in the past. To understand where these sentiments they still see today came from. To understand how the pain of homophobia from every time period, including the 90s, still resides within many of the people surrounding them—parents, teachers, family members, community members, etc. It is a part of queer history. We cannot hope to achieve true queer liberation if we don't teach children about the past. And it can easily be argued that what's depicted in this book is far from "in the past".
This book was humorous at times
and heavy at times
Both are important parts of queer stories and are sentiments I could deeply relate to. Thank you Mike Curato for this book, for providing a story for children to learn from and relate to, and for providing me an opportunity to heal as well.
My one criticism, and I feel it is a pretty major one, is the part that implies that Aiden's abusive father loves him. I'm not ok with portraying child abuse as some kind of "loving father who has lost his way". Nope. Abuse is abuse is abuse. Plain and simple. I don't care if his father supposedly "actually loves Aiden" despite his abusive actions. He's abusive and that's not ok. I do still think you can utilize this book in schools. But just make sure that when this part comes up to have an explicit conversation with the kids. Explain why this part of the story is flawed and that abuse is never OK or justifiable. Make really clear that whether or not an abuser claims they love you doesn't matter because the fact that you're being abused matters.