I wouldn't normally bother rating a book I didn't finish, but I got through half of The Flame and the Flower before giving up, so I have some pretty strong opinions and plenty to say. If my pain can spare some of you anguish, then it will all be worthwhile.

I was actually a little bit excited to read this book, even though I knew it had a reputation as being very of its time and, to today's readers, fairly offensive. But I don't have an extremely thin skin. After all, I love Outlander, in spite of the strapping debacle! Plus, I was curious about the novel that basically invented the modern day historical romance back in the early 1970s. I had high hopes that this might actually be a fun, engaging old-school yarn, in spite of its issues. Unfortunately, it's just a mess.

Spoiler

The young Regency-era heroine, ludicrously named Heather, lives with her ineffectual uncle and her fat, evil aunt, a horrible woman who loathes Heather for being Irish and most of all for being beautiful, oh so beautiful, the most beautiful teeny-tiny angel in all the land. The mean aunt makes her slave away like Cinderella, and forces Heather to wear her own ragged, cast off clothing, all of which falls off of her lovely limbs and perky bosom because she's so slim and petite and the aunt is such a gigantic cow. (Lesson #1 of this book: fat and/or ugly people are evil.) All the men in town love Heather in spite of her ragged clothes and put-upon life. I've never encountered such a genuine Mary Sue character outside of fanfiction. A few examples of Heather's revolting perfection...

Heather felt her spirits rise. She chatted gaily with shopkeepers, tried on silly bonnets, giggled at herself in mirrors, danced about and completely charmed those persons who could be charmed.

And:

She watched as grand ladies paraded in front of her and laughed to see fat, little husbands trying to catch up. Her eyes shone and her smile was quick and easy. She swirled gaily and turned her head with a carefree air, making her braids swing and causing men to follow her with their eyes.

And:

Under the ever warming sun the natural color returned to Heather's cheeks and all signs of illness faded away. She bloomed more than any flower, and to look at her one could surmise motherhood definitely agreed with her. Whenever she was about on quarter-deck, close under Brandon's hand, every man's eyes were drawn to her at one time or another, and with the wind whipping her cloak about her and teasing a stray lock of hair she was something to behold.

I'll be honest -- the second she started swirling gaily and turning her head to make her braids swing, I was imagining ways to kill her off. She's so annoying, but more about that later.

The "hero," Brandon, is even worse. We meet him when he mistakes Heather for a prostitute, after she's picked up by his henchman on the docks. (She has just escaped a near-rape by her aunt's fat, ugly brother, whom she killed when he accidentally fell on the knife she was holding. I know.) In spite of her verbal and physical protests, Brandon has sex with her. When he realizes she was a virgin and not a streetwalker, his first reaction is to worry that she might have family or friends who would come after him for defiling her. On learning that she hasn't anyone to protect her, he figures he might as well rape her a couple more times then, because it's not like you can put spilled milk back in a bottle, right? And she's so damned beautiful he just can't resist.

Brandon decides to keep Heather as his mistress and he locks her up on board his ship, but she manages to run away back to her aunt. His super virility has left her pregnant, however, so he winds up being forced to marry her. He's not at all happy about this -- his cheek starts twitching with anger, and it twitches and vibrates with rage on almost every other page from here on out. Brandon proceeds to alternately ignore his new bride and verbally abuse her. He's domineering and mean, although he does sometimes take Heather shopping, which makes her like him a little bit. (Hence all the gay swirling I mentioned earlier.) We only get Brandon's POV in brief snatches, so we don't really get much in the way of inner life or motivations. We mostly just learn that he is overwhelmed with lust for Heather. She drives him crazy with her perfect, sexy beauty! And since he's decided he's too proud to bed her again after being forced to marry her, this makes Brandon angry. A few examples of our leading man's charming personality...

After raping her:

“Do you think you could have remained chaste for long with the face and body you have, my sweet?”

After being forced into marriage:

He sneered at her coldly. "Yes, I can see that you're pleased now. But your hell has only begun, m'lady. I'm not termed a pleasant sort to live with. I have a foul temper which can snap up a small tart like you without a second's notice. So be warned, my beauty. Do not tempt it. Tread lightly and perhaps you will survive. Do you understand?"

And:

"After all, if you hadn't met me, you'd still be living with that fat aunt of yours, taking her abuse, trying to hide your nakedness with gowns twelve times your size, scrubbing and scouring until your back broke, taking what bit of food she threw at you, content to hovel in your corner and grow old with your maidenhood still intact, never knowing what it means to be a mother!"

When he's being made insane with hormones by the sight of her after their marriage:

"Oh, virgin wife, why weren't you made thin and ugly, then I could ignore you as you wish. But of all the women in London town, my weak-minded self chose you, the finest bit of fluff that ever tempted any man's eye. And you treat me not like a man but as some old buck, too worn to seek a doe. You play and pose before me and expect my spirits not to rise. You tempt and taunt then deny me husband's rights. My God, you wench! Do you think me some safe eunuch?"

And my favorite:

"You privy wench," he leered. "With your high-curved breasts and your rosy butt, you tempt a man even when you're asleep."

Okay, so there's something funny about that in a campy kind of way, but it's not funny enough to sustain a whole book.

Anyway, after they marry, Brandon is a big jerk, and Heather occasionally, wimpily, expresses her displeasure with being married to his rapey self. And then she starts to feel guilty for being so mean to him. And to feel sort of grateful to him for marrying her.

She went gladly and collected his clothes from the room, more than grateful because he had been lenient with her. It would be a long time before she'd dare call him names again or flare up in anger at him. She would have to remember he disliked insolence and would not stand for it. She had been effectively disciplined and would do his will as an obedient wife.

And:

"So now I am to be a mother, and he is to be hated and cursed because he made me so. But must it be this way? Is it too difficult to show him kindness and gratitude though I know he loathes the ground on which I walk and would prefer to be no man at all than have me chained to him. He has been kind despite his hatred of me. [That is very questionable. He bought you some dresses and hasn't punched you, big deal!] Now I must show him I am not a child and am thankful.

It's just excruciating. She's such a doormat, and he's such an inexplicable ass. Neither one of them is a well-developed character; they're both just a collection of adjectives and, literally in the case of Twitchy!Brandon, tics.

As for the writing itself, I finally understand why romance novels have the reputation for purple prose. It's because of books like this. There are some really oddly phrased sentences in this book, and it seems clear a thesaurus was used very liberally. The man was small and thinly fleshed, but his voice was a full baritone of gentle touch. Just one of the many odd sentences I highlighted. I'm a snob when it comes to prose style, I know, but really. The dialogue is pretty terrible too, as you can hopefully tell from all the quotes above.

"But it was written at a different time!" I tried to tell myself that as I read this. Writing styles were different, gender politics were different, things that seem like romance novel cliches now were not cliches back then. Well...okay. But bad writing is still bad writing. And there's something so reactionary about the relationship between Heather and Brandon, given that this book was written and published at the height of the women's movement in the early 1970s. In a country where sensitive men like ERA-advocate Alan Alda were gaining fame, there was no doubt a swathe of the female population who thought a domineering, hairy-chested macho man like Brandon was super appealing. The year after Gloria Steinem launched Ms. Magazine, some women probably enjoyed reading about a dainty, meek little thing like Heather, gaily swirling in pretty dresses instead of burning her bra and mouthing off to her husband. No doubt there's a dissertation in analyzing this book for some women's studies doctoral student. It's probably already been written, in fact.

But I just couldn't go on reading it, myself -- especially when they arrived at Brandon's plantation and all the "negro" and "negress" talk started. I bet Brandon is a very good master, and all his slaves are happy. Luckily for me, I'll never find out.