i know i say this a lot but this is the book i wish i had growing up. as a (now) non-binary, (previously) competitive swimmer this book spoke to my inner soul. i truly wonder where i would've landed with my gender identity journey if i had this as a tween/young teen. would it have taken me less time to figure things out? would i have been more open to speaking about my personal issues surrounding being a "girl" in swimming hating my body? maybe. unfortunately, we'll never know. but what i do know is that this book can and will help many young athletes work through those exact worries.

now, this book is by no means a light read, but it sure is an important one. obie deals with bullies who physically and emotionally hurt obie, hurling slurs and pushes. obie has to deal with transphobic adults influencing teens down that same path. we see people try to change their bigoted ways. and we see those who might take a bit longer. but, we see those in his life support him through it and i love that.

now, as for the swimming side of things. genuinely, i'm obsessed. i feel like i don't often read books about swimmers by swimmers and having this made my little retired heart happy. hearing obie so passionate about the sport, explaining the practices and the meets, it reminded me a lot of myself. and i especially laughed when he mentioned his coach loving drills, because that was me to the core. i coached for many years and always loved doing drills and finding new ones to try. anyways. i could talk about swimming for hours, but that'll probably bore most people...

tldr, i know this book will hold close to my heart.