thank you to wednesday books, st. martin’s press, and netgalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

if i had a nickel for every book of a boyband where the characters had to stay in the closet. that i loved… i’d still only have two nickels. i’m sorry y’all but this wasn’t it for me.

i genuinely don’t even know where to begin with this one, other than david is absolutely the worst character to be following. he’s selfish, jealous, rude, and literally doesn’t apologize for any of his actions from before the book and during the events of this book until the last 5% percent. and that’s after his dad (who i also do not like, and totally see how his son is the way he is. he is also literally so immature about david’s CHOICE to leave the band.) says its because he acts just like his mom who abandoned him??? i’m sorry… WHAT?

every so often we keep hearing him tell us that he’s changed, he’s better, he’s not jealous. and yet??? but oh, sure we’ll believe that his apology after his conversation with his father has actually well and truly changed him. okay. chance is genuinely so nice of a person to keep putting up with this man’s antics. green is a bad look on you, hun.

i really don’t have the energy to say more about this book but i WILL bring up eli. okay, because this is a story where the opening event is a literal funeral. why isn’t there any sort of grieving from david, supposedly his best friend of YEARS. why does he call him an enemy in the opening scene?? make it make sense! david has no empathy for him, for chance, who is somewhat actually openly grieving his loss. i honestly think this could’ve been scrapped. or at least changed. why wasn’t it just an overdose where eli ended up in rehab, halting their career for a period time. that would have had the same starting impact for the events of this story without adding this weird non-starter of grief being brushed over.

oh and one more thing. how was we STILL including harry potter references. in this day and age. in QUEER books. absolutely not okay. just the cherry on top for a not great book. (and that’s not mentioning the fatphobic comments made constantly about david, internally and externally. or how riddley is so weirdly vulgar and sex-obsessed, it’s her only other personality trait besides loving movies… okay. the somewhat ace-phobic comment made about everyone being “a little bit bi”. the slightly graphic sex scenes and comments — no i am not over the dick comparison comment — for a YA BOOK. just… yeah, absolutely not)

in my opinion, there are better options out there if you want a book with a similar vibe to this.