if i had a nickel for every time i’ve read a novel that i absolutely adore about a teen boyband with repressed, soft, queer boys, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

i love these boys to pieces and i can’t believe i’ve waited so so long to read this book after it released. i knew i was going to enjoy sophie gonzales’ writing after also whole-heartedly enjoying perfect on paper. and this was an incredible introduction for me to cale dietrich’s writing.

these boys, with their flaws, and their growth throughout the book was incredible. i loved seeing how zach continued to process all of his emotions on his own, allowing for his space and acceptance of his queer identity. i loved seeing ruben learn to rely a bit less on his emotionally abusive mother less and less. i loved getting glimpses into john and angel’s pyschees as well throughout the book. i just, i loved it all. their dynamics were incredible as a friend group. and just between the two main characters.

being a directioner myself, it was so interesting to see this take on the behind the scenes of the all too real life for those boys (and i’m sure many other young singers out there). it showed how truly life-controlling this profession can and has been. it shows the dark sides of getting into the spotlight at such a young age. and it discusses so much more.

all of it, led me to an incredible story with an audiobook that i could not stop listening to. i haven’t felt this way about a book in a while. the pure feeling of overwhelming love for fictional characters. i truly truly just want the best for these fictional boys. i hope they can get that at the end of the events of this book.

original review:
you ever just want to slap yourself in the face because you waited a stupid amount of time to read a book you knew you’d love? that was me for this book.