A beautiful memoir about an extraordinary woman who loved during a time of great fear and grief as the men she called her friends and family were struck down by a terrifying illness that had no cure. Author Jill Nalder is the inspiration behind the character of Jill in It's A Sin (a brilliant show if you haven't seen it), and that's how I found out about this book and knew I needed to read it.

This story is a mix of things - creativity, and artistic dreams as well as friendship and family (both born and found), strength, grief, and most of all love. The love that shines through on every page of this book as Jill describes her life growing up in London, working in the theatre and West End, with a bunch of beautiful boys who made her laugh and whom she cared about deeply, is immense.

I actually liked how Jill made some references to the Covid-19 pandemic in her book, as really it's one of the closest things we have now in modern memory to compare to the terrifying era that was the AIDS epidemic including the fear and vilifying of a particular group of people. From healthcare to people in the street, it was too long a time before suffering gay men were treated with the respect that they and any human being deserves as their bodies were slowly ravaged by an illness that takes no prisoners. Jill also makes sure to point out in her book as well how AIDs diagnoses also affected many women and how testing procedure failed women and children who may have contracted the disease whether it be through sexual relations, blood transfusions, or in utero.

This book will make you cry and as Jill took the time to educate the reader about the wonderful people who were Colin, Derek, Juan and Dursley - and the many, many others who lost their lives, I knew if I allowed it, I would just become a bawling mess. This book is an absolute eye opener about a time that people are still affected and traumatised by, and while we know now that a HIV diagnosis isn't the death sentence it once was, we still have a long way to go before we overcome the stigma and fear that still rings around such a diagnosis.

On a lighter note, I think anyone who likes theatre or anything West End/Broadway would really enjoy this as that is the industry Jill and her friends all work in and there's mentions of loads of different shows as well as some names that people may recognise. Juan and Jill performed in the earlier versions of Les Mis in Paris and London, and Cameron Mackintosh himself called Dursley when he was in hospital, and Dame Judi Dench spoke at his service!

I highly recommend this book - it's beautifully written, brings people who should be alive and performing today back to life in a lovely way, and educates the reader brilliantly about a scary time in the world.