The first-half of this book was riveting. I couldn't stop turning pages to see what would happen next; how a young girl with so much to be appreciative for/of would devolve into a drug addict.

However, even understanding what I do about drug addiction--from working with recovering addicts and being personally involved in the lives of family members who still struggle with their own--I still detested Mickey.

She was not a likable character.

Period.

From her struggles expressing herself to others, to the resentment she carried of those who were inexplicably more comfortable in their own skin, to her relentless need to be pitied for not knowing her true genealogical roots ...it was a gigantic pity party and I was not moved.

I wanted Mickey to grow up and stop feeling as if the world owed her anything. You would think that a girl with so much would be more attuned to the ways in which the world was still at her feet, even with all she'd been through, but Mickey was never satisfied; everyone around her had it better because they were smarter, or prettier, or more talented, or had both parents, or better luck talking to boys, or ....ugh. She was just so whiny about everythingand I could not handle it.

Adding addiction, to an already insufferable personality, made for a story where I didn't care what happened to Mickey. I hate to say that but it's true. I did not connect with her in the slightest because she was annoying and problematic as heck

I felt empathetic towards Carolina (Mickey's only friend), Josie (a girl whose life was so utterly depressing she felt more comfortable around drug dealers than her own family), and Luther (collateral damage in the world of Mickey).

McGinnis does a great job showing how easy it is to progress from a pill to relieve your pain, to a needle to feel better: so much of addiction is about escapism and, though there is no one route to it, much of it does center on a need to fill whatever empty space exists within. A way to make all the cogs fit and allow us to not be so awkwardly ourselves within a world we perceive as not belonging to us.

From that understanding, it was easy to see how Mickey, with all her insecurities, could fall down the rabbit hole so easily.

A read that will bring you into the world of an addict, from the addict's point of view, so be careful picking this one up if you are recovering. It's not for the faint of heart.

*Thank you to Edelweiss+ and Katherine Tegen Books for this Advanced eGalley of Mindy McGinnis's work. Opinion is my own.*