"thong? please. i'm proud to say i wear granny panties exclusively. i'm not putting a piece of cloth up my butt for anyone, and lace itches. i like cotton, and i like coverage."

"you have really long eyelashes."
"my eyes sparkle like sapphires. i'm built like a tank and hung like a stallion."
"i dont understand what you're doing."
"you started a list of all the things you like about me, yes? i contributed."

"she stopped and blew him a kiss with her middle finger."

"we aren't done with this conversation."
"sure thing, babe. i'll pencil in a rehash on the thirty-second day of the month."
"keep it up, and i'll stuff something in that smart mouth of yours."

"a smile a day keeps my homicidal tendencies at bay."