I don't generally believe in the concept of spoilers, but I'm going to talk about some things that happen late book so heads up.

The Days of Abandonment is a difficult read. the sexism of a man abandoning a wife he no longer finds sexy and a family he no longer finds convenient is so infuriating, especially when (as is almost always the case) friends, family, and society rally around him and cheer on his decision. I think that the American idea of “marrying for love” is actually a built-in excuse for men to do just this, or at least to have the option which they can exercise or not. Ferrante captures the repellent spinelessness of the husband well, and the unraveling effect on Olga is powerful and unsettling. the abyssal sense of being abandoned and gas-lit by the person you thought you would die with is facilitated by an abrupt shift in the novel’s pacing which has the same effect as someone slamming the brakes when you're carsick.

the ending is underwhelming because Olga ending up with the first available “nice guy” seems counter to her reconstituted identity later in the book. Carrano is a loser, and just as bad he is shown to have no awareness about a woman's sexual experience. what to Olga is a painful and humiliating sexual experience brought on by her own anger and desperation is to him an important and moving encounter. like after years of being married to an asshole do you really want a lover who is oblivious to physical and emotional cues? sounds like bad sex. sounds like a bad relationship. I know that this kind of disappointing rebound probably happens a lot to women because of intense patriarchal pressure and mental conditioning but it felt totally forced and lame after such a strong story otherwise.