If you ask most people what they think of lying, they will very likely say that it is something they avoid as much as they can, since it's considered to be a very frowned upon act that is bound to ruin anyone's reputation if they're caught in the act. We as a society claim to treasure honesty and transparency as sacred values we should all live by, and no one wants to be branded as a liar. However, like so many other aspects of life, this book claims that our self-proclaimed virtues of honesty are nothing more than illusions, since, in fact, most of us lie much more often than we tell the truth throughout the day.The author goes as far as to claim that we actually tend to prefer liars over people who tell us the truth. If you go to work one day and smile at your colleague, wishing them a good morning and asking how they are, you will likely not appreciate it if they end up telling you how irritating it is for them to have to see your face everyday and fake liking you and having to make small talk with you before their morning coffee right before spending another 8 hours slaving away at work, instead of being with people they actually care about at some resort in Hawaii.Lying, in fact, has its useful sides as well, and is a good lubricant to make social situations pass by more smoothly. The author goes one step further, making the point that we not only lie to others, but we often lie to ourselves quite regularly as well, and this self-deception is necessary for our survival.

 “one reason people cling to false beliefs is because self-deception can sometimes be functional—it enables us to accomplish useful social, psychological or biological goals. Holding false beliefs is not always the mark of idiocy, pathology or villainy.”

This is a light and fun read, where the author uses many anecdotes from real life, such as the infamous Church of Love scandal, where a con-artist managed to make hundreds of men fall in love with fictional women who send them letters, telling them how much they cherish them and the deep connection they built together, asking for regular "love offerings" in the form of money to meet their needs, to prove that human beings tend to relish in fantasies that help them feel better in life. Many victims of this scam actually defended the con-artist at court, since he made them feel loved and cherished during the most difficult moments of their lives.The author proceeds to say that believing in lies and fantasy is actually a process encouraged by evolution, citing statistics which show that people who engage in fantastical thinking (including religion) tend to live longer than those who don't. He cites examples which show that depressed people tend to see life more clearly for what it truly is, while healthy people tend to add their own subjective spin to their perception. Veiled criticisms aimed at hardcore realists are to be found in various chapters in this book, showing that most people who claim to be realists tend to be privileged. He notes that the world's most impoverished locations tend to have the highest numbers of religious people, as well as the existence of very brutal and physically and mentally taxing rituals such as walking on burning coal or crucifixion. Bizarre rituals even exist in the comparatively accessible western world, such as rituals right before a football game or those done in military school. The fascinating thing is that people who engage in such rituals tend to be happier and perform better at various tasks, showing that people who believe in something greater than themselves, whether it's a deity or some cause or a social or group cause, tend to excel more.


 “Delusional overconfidence is very bad for many men as individuals, but the researchers found that as a group, it helps men succeed.”

This book does a nice job showing us biases that cloud our perception of life, but instead of treating it as a problem that must be solved, it pushes the narrative that this approach has proved quite effective at helping us survive as a species. Around the end of the book, the author borrows some ideas from Yuval Noah Harari's book "Sapiens", showing us how mass-delusions such as the belief in the existence of intangible things like culture and nations have succeeded in uniting millions of people under shared causes, and this unity and strength in numbers has led to groundbreaking achievements in humanity. Although I also enjoyed this part of the book, it felt like a regurgitation of Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, which I really enjoyed and reviewed here.

This is an interesting perspective on the necessity of fantasy in life, and draws a clear distinction between what is true and what works.Some examples of how far certain lies can influence people's behaviour are comical, such as the fact that people who drink two cups of the same type of wine but think one is a more expensive brand claim to enjoy it more, and people even having the same reaction to tap water being given to them under the name of a luxurious brand.

In conclusion, let's not judge lies and delusions too harshly, sometimes, they're what get us through seemingly insurmountable difficulties, both on a micro and macro scale.


 “We need hope in order to function, but the world gives us endless reasons not to be hopeful. For most people on the planet, to forswear self-deception is to invite despair and dysfunction.”