so i hate this book. i don't hate it because they use outdated language or because the main character (regan) misgenders her sister throughout half of it. i hate it because it does not represent luna, the trans character, as a multidimensional human being who is struggling. it represents regan, a cishet girl, and her struggle to "understand" and "deal with" having a trans sister. the entire book is about regan's struggle. maybe in the last 50 pages does the book go into detail about how luna struggles within her relationships.

regan is also an entirely unlikable character. i understand the book was written in 2004 for teenage girls as the intended audience, however regan is SO selfish and insufferable. she blames her sister being trans for all of her problems, and she makes the entire situation about herself. i don't care if that was realistic, it is genuinely unlikable and horrible to read. what kind of hope is that setting up for young trans kids? that they're going to be a nuisance in the lives of those they love and confide in?

tw// mentions of suicide

the ending was also pretty terrible. luna decides to leave her family on her 18th birthday, which is valid. her dad sucks major ass and her mom may or may not have conspired to help her commit suicide. however, once again, i don't like the message this novel gives to young trans readers. or young cisgender readers. or any reader. ever. it just is not good. it's annoying, uses unnecessary slurs, and it is shitty representation. i felt masochistic making myself finish it.