god- i don't know if i can stand any more of this. reading these books is an elaborate form of torture; i'm actually feeling physically sick right now.
on the one hand i admire the authors for creating such a fucking twisted universe, for being able to portray the characters in a way that makes them seem so lifelike and complicated and real, to convey their feelings - with all the nuances - so well.
on the other, i simply wish i'd never started this series. i think i can safely say that it's the single most emotionally draining thing i've ever read. i will finish it. it's an experience. however, then i'm going to try to erase it from my memory.