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A review by rebeccazh
Educated by Tara Westover
I paused my binge reading of Chinese web novels to read this extremely harrowing tale of abuse and coercion. I wish the blurb and title had focused less on the 'survivalist' family and higher learning education, and more on familial abuse, power and coercion.
This is a tale that is heartbreakingly familiar - a very isolated family, father as patriarch controlling the entire family, wife and children as victims, perpetrators or co-conspirators of abuse in turns, and the unequal power dynamics and lack of escape in such families.
The things that Tara, the mother and the other children go through are absolutely harrowing and heartbreaking to read. I appreciated the nuanced portrayals of her family - she tries to portray both her parents as people instead of abusers - and I feel like she really managed to capture their complexity. I do wish we could have understood more of her father's history because it is still a mystery to me why he fixated on the government as the enemy, of all things.
I think she did a fantastic job describing the effects of the abuse on her - the desire to please her parents despite how they abuse her, the constant self-doubt, the distrust of others, the inability to accept help from others or from authorities... Heartbreaking how she kept going back to them, wanting their approval. There was also a lot to be said about the effects of Mormonism shaping the father's beliefs (glorifying suffering, gender roles), and the misogyny that enables or worsens the abuse towards her.
Shawn really disturbed me, especially knowing that he has two kids?! And a wife dependent on him. And the fact that half of the adult children depend on the parents financially.
Criticisms of the book often question the way details do not line up, but the many footnotes that show how differently each family member remembers the events seem to speak to the effect of gaslighting and abuse. And also trauma and the fact that the author was a child mean that memories are likely going to be very distorted. I also find it very ironic that a victim of gaslighting is being questioned for her memories.
But anyway, the strength of this book lies in the unflinching portrayal of abuse in the family. I was so RELIEVED when the author finally got into therapy.
This is a tale that is heartbreakingly familiar - a very isolated family, father as patriarch controlling the entire family, wife and children as victims, perpetrators or co-conspirators of abuse in turns, and the unequal power dynamics and lack of escape in such families.
The things that Tara, the mother and the other children go through are absolutely harrowing and heartbreaking to read. I appreciated the nuanced portrayals of her family - she tries to portray both her parents as people instead of abusers - and I feel like she really managed to capture their complexity. I do wish we could have understood more of her father's history because it is still a mystery to me why he fixated on the government as the enemy, of all things.
I think she did a fantastic job describing the effects of the abuse on her - the desire to please her parents despite how they abuse her, the constant self-doubt, the distrust of others, the inability to accept help from others or from authorities... Heartbreaking how she kept going back to them, wanting their approval. There was also a lot to be said about the effects of Mormonism shaping the father's beliefs (glorifying suffering, gender roles), and the misogyny that enables or worsens the abuse towards her.
Shawn really disturbed me, especially knowing that he has two kids?! And a wife dependent on him. And the fact that half of the adult children depend on the parents financially.
Criticisms of the book often question the way details do not line up, but the many footnotes that show how differently each family member remembers the events seem to speak to the effect of gaslighting and abuse. And also trauma and the fact that the author was a child mean that memories are likely going to be very distorted. I also find it very ironic that a victim of gaslighting is being questioned for her memories.
But anyway, the strength of this book lies in the unflinching portrayal of abuse in the family. I was so RELIEVED when the author finally got into therapy.