more of a 3.75 stars really but i decided to round up bc of how unbelievably insufferable jolene is

this is a hell of a political commentary, damani is a very distinct voice and it's definitely not going to be for everyone. personally i loved it; give me more crass women, i want them loud and unladylike and unlikable. male protagonists get to do it all the time so unlikable women just feel like catharsis every single time. tell me about your weird masturbatory habits, tell me your gross impulses, tell me how you're a mess, i want to hear it all. i want to see you weak and disgusting and pathetic and i will love you all the more for it.

there's an incredible oppressive atmosphere the entire way through, as damani's city roils with unrest and the people call for a revolution. there's a lot to be said about the class divide, privilege, power, and capitalism, but it all fades into the background for damani, who is determined to keep her head down and make money to keep the roof over her and her mother's head. i thought her relationship with her parents was one of the most compelling parts of the book, she became her mother's carer after her father's sudden heart attack and i really enjoyed the back and forth between memories of her father and the present broken state of her mother.

despite her best efforts, damani gets embroiled in the city's protests both because of her fellow ride share friends and her new white lady activist gf. good lord, i cannot tell you how much i rolled my eyes at jolene throughout this. she would say wrong thing after wrong thing and i felt like i could sink into the couch cushions from the secondhand cringe i felt. jolene is peak performative white activism and just absolutely reaffirmed my healthy suspicion of white people doing too much; this type of support is insidious, insisting they're on your side because they want what's best for you, promising to treat you like their equal. until it's time to put in the work, or until your version of freedom doesn't look like theirs, and then they fall backwards onto their own thorny words, ready to betray you to save their own skin. all the while, insisting they're not like the other bigots! at least the other bigots are honest.

this book boiled my blood to say the least, and it made me exhausted, more engaged with a world i usually escape through reading, which is why it deserves 4 stars. it's just that good, even if i don't know if i'd call this reading experience enjoyable. the short chapters and errant inner monologue are jarring and occasionally hard to follow, but the vibes just feel correctly uncomfortable. i think that this is the kind of book i will like this more as i sit with it.

also, never seen taxi driver and i don't really care to.