I picked this book up for two reasons: I am a big fan of Martha Wells' Murderbot series, and it has absolutely gorgeous cover. Because of the latter one, I wanted to buy a physical copy, so I waited until my vacation in the UK, then couldn't find it anywhere in the bookshops and had to order it online anyway. It resulted in a few months delay between the publication date and me actually reading it, which means I spend some time looking for reactions and reviews. And I really had to look: none of the people I followed, be it on booktube or goodreads, read it and reviewed it. And when they did, the reviews weren't positive (the average rating on GR isn't high either). I was intrigued. Was it because the book was objectively bad, was it because it didn't met the expectations (I am guessing many people wanted Murderbot 2), or was it just because it didn't click with the particular reader and their taste in fantasy?

I'm glad to say it's the last one (and I guess the second one plays a role as well, to some extent). I loved the book. Was I confused while reading it? Yes, I was. But it's the same with any fantasy books where the author doesn't hold your hand and explain things right away, you just have to be patient and pick up things along the way. Did I care about the characters from the beginning? Not at all, but they grew on me pretty quickly after a certain point. And then I couldn't stop caring. The tipping point was somewhere aroud 40% mark, or the chapters where all 4 of the main characters (or rather 5, Dahin is <3) finally meet and the past storyline starts to unravel.

I'm glad I wasn't deterred and gave this book a try. I loved the characters (found family, my favorite trope), I loved the worldbuilding (pain magic, interesting!), and I absolutely loved the queerness and genderfuckery the author weaved into the story; not only the obvious one, where men wear skirts and women are soldiers and the MC doesn't care about his borrowed body's gender at all etc. etc., but the way it is written: you read about a character, find out their role in the scene, their appearance, but their gender is revealed by a stray pronoun some sentences/paragraphs later, because in this world it doesn't matter (with one exception, but that one is an outlier and is treated as such). Amazing.

I have to reread it soon and tab all my favorite scenes. Especially the one when I had to close the book and scream.