thanks netgalley and sourcebooks fire for the arc in exchange for a review! and now, it's time to actually do that.

so, i'll start this off with the fact that this book isn't bad -- it's just not as great as i wanted it to be. like, aapi rep! fantasy! freaking sea monster chariot races! it could be so! much! yet it was not meant to be for me.

with the purely technical stuff, it's really not a bad book at all. yes, the pacing of the romance was a bit weird for me, and it felt like the "message" of the story (i.e. violence is human, revolution is impossible without solidarity) was banging me over the head sometimes, but look -- i can admit i'm not the target audience for these books anymore. i read ya just to escape the horrors of the adult world (like taxes and rent and responsibilities), so i can overlook writing that feels like it was written for younger audiences. and the racing scenes are quite good! very tense; lots of nail-biting -- probably the main reason i read to the end.

but i really can't bring myself to rate this book any higher than 3 stars because of everything it represents. first off: i really admire that the book isn't specifically asian-inspired. asian authors don't have to write asian-inspired fiction anymore, and i love that the publishing industry has expanded beyond that constricting stereotype. second: i love the description that koral's "born in anger" -- feels extremely timely with how people have been tone-policing various historically and currently marginalized communities without understanding the lasting effects of generational trauma. but, that does bring me to my third point and the reason why i can't like this book too much (which is a bit of a spoiler -- sorry y'all!).

Spoiler

i am just so tired of reading books where people who were abused are allowed to abuse others. did damian kill koral? no. did he try to? yes. did he pull away at the last second? sure, but that doesn't absolve him of the fact that he actively tried to push her into a wall of fire. did he do it because his father asked him to? yes, but his father didn't make him do anything. the only person responsible for your actions is you, and anything less is just shirking your responsibility. as a survivor myself, it pisses me off when male characters get to justify their violence by saying they were abused. that doesn't mean anything! being kind is and should be the radical choice (thanks bestie waymond <3). even with koral, it was just tiring to read about how her anger at her father was fueling everything. like, i get it, i really do. and maybe this is again because i'm just too old for these books, but i don't really want to read about how her anger at her abuser can drive so much of her personality to the point where it consumes her (as damian says to her). that just isn't a compelling storyline anymore.

anyway, this is not at all a "don't read this book" -- it really is a good book, and the fact that it's a bit cliché (as some reviews have mentioned) doesn't make it bad at all. more just my opinions in written form so that i don't forget everything i ever thought about this book in around two days.