I am simply stunned.
The many months of delaying my audiobook reservation from my library were well worth it my goodness. I figured that I would enjoy this, although having read The Poppy War trilogy also that it would destroy me so it was best to wait until after exams were over. That was a correct decision.

Holy shit. Like. Fuck me. Absolutely heartbreaking and glorious, full of betrayal and horror and joy and life. I was well and truly sobbing at the end

something something R F Kuang making her main characters learn to live in violence and no longer see a world beyond what cause they are fighting for so they end up sacrificing themselves so the single remaining ally can live. Cannot believe she got us twice with that what a legend.