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A review by smolbean_reads
Into the Darkest Corner by Elizabeth Haynes
4.0
4.5 stars
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, a sinking feeling starting to take over from the feeling of being happily drunk. He met my eyes at last, and his were dark with a level of fury I’d not seen before.
‘What’s wrong? You really have no fucking clue? Jesus.’
‘Lee, tell me, for fuck’s sake. What have I done?’
The story is written from Cathy's P.O.V, switching between 2003 and 2007, which is a really refreshing style as you were learning about her past whilst seeing how it has affected her future. The first thing that I really liked about this book was Cathy herself. I liked her a lot, she was so genuine and real, I could almost forget she was fictional.
A lot of the present tense dealt with her struggles with OCD and PTSD which I must say I wasn't expecting when I went into this book but in fact it was written about so well. Cathys inner-voice and the thought processes she has whilst struggling with her OCD is just so damn accurate. Some people may find it too repetitive, the constant paragraphs of her struggling through it, checking doors, re-checking doors, checking everything to the point that she's crying because she can't stop. But thats what the anxiety does- it takes over, it becomes one of the biggest things in your life, yes its repetitive but that is the nature of the disease. So I felt it was completely necessary and made Cathys character truly real and I could relate, I know that feeling of anxiety that builds up when you get stuck in your vicious cycle of compulsions and cannot stop.
Cathy and Lee's relationship, this isnt something I want to discuss too much but if you know what is is like to love someone despite the red flags, the signs of controlling behaviour, then you will relate to how their relationship developed. You become attached to someone, not for their bad side but for the good side, for their vulnerable side, the sweet and caring side, for their intense passion and devotion and charm, the side of them you've invested all your time and love into.
'He smiled, and reached out and stroked my cheek, a long, soft touch that started with my face and ended on the side of my thigh. He told me he loved me, his voice barely a whisper. I loved him when he was like this, gentle, calm, happy.'
'Being still in love with him, the gentle, vulnerable part of him that was still inside somewhere, was only part of it: it was also the dreadful fear of what he might do if I did anything to provoke him.'
I found it so hard to put this book down even though there were parts of it that were a bit triggering. It kept me on the edge of my seat, constantly wondering would could possibly happen next, fearing the worst and hoping for the best. And there is a twist in the book that just leaves you sitting there like 'no no no oh god.' Anyway, on a nice note, I'm so glad there was a character like Stuart in the book though. Patient, wise, loving. He helped Cathy and he believed her and he was kind and gentle. He didn't tell her to fix herself, he helped her. He supported her.
The only reason I didnt give this 5 stars is that I felt the ending wasn't quite what I was looking for or expecting. It didn't quite work for me. I'm not gonna divulge too much because of spoilers but overall this has been one of my best reads of 2018. I really needed a gripping thrillery crime in my life and this hit the spot. Hence the super lengthy review!
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, a sinking feeling starting to take over from the feeling of being happily drunk. He met my eyes at last, and his were dark with a level of fury I’d not seen before.
‘What’s wrong? You really have no fucking clue? Jesus.’
‘Lee, tell me, for fuck’s sake. What have I done?’
The story is written from Cathy's P.O.V, switching between 2003 and 2007, which is a really refreshing style as you were learning about her past whilst seeing how it has affected her future. The first thing that I really liked about this book was Cathy herself. I liked her a lot, she was so genuine and real, I could almost forget she was fictional.
A lot of the present tense dealt with her struggles with OCD and PTSD which I must say I wasn't expecting when I went into this book but in fact it was written about so well. Cathys inner-voice and the thought processes she has whilst struggling with her OCD is just so damn accurate. Some people may find it too repetitive, the constant paragraphs of her struggling through it, checking doors, re-checking doors, checking everything to the point that she's crying because she can't stop. But thats what the anxiety does- it takes over, it becomes one of the biggest things in your life, yes its repetitive but that is the nature of the disease. So I felt it was completely necessary and made Cathys character truly real and I could relate, I know that feeling of anxiety that builds up when you get stuck in your vicious cycle of compulsions and cannot stop.
Cathy and Lee's relationship, this isnt something I want to discuss too much but if you know what is is like to love someone despite the red flags, the signs of controlling behaviour, then you will relate to how their relationship developed. You become attached to someone, not for their bad side but for the good side, for their vulnerable side, the sweet and caring side, for their intense passion and devotion and charm, the side of them you've invested all your time and love into.
'He smiled, and reached out and stroked my cheek, a long, soft touch that started with my face and ended on the side of my thigh. He told me he loved me, his voice barely a whisper. I loved him when he was like this, gentle, calm, happy.'
'Being still in love with him, the gentle, vulnerable part of him that was still inside somewhere, was only part of it: it was also the dreadful fear of what he might do if I did anything to provoke him.'
I found it so hard to put this book down even though there were parts of it that were a bit triggering. It kept me on the edge of my seat, constantly wondering would could possibly happen next, fearing the worst and hoping for the best. And there is a twist in the book that just leaves you sitting there like 'no no no oh god.' Anyway, on a nice note, I'm so glad there was a character like Stuart in the book though. Patient, wise, loving. He helped Cathy and he believed her and he was kind and gentle. He didn't tell her to fix herself, he helped her. He supported her.
The only reason I didnt give this 5 stars is that I felt the ending wasn't quite what I was looking for or expecting. It didn't quite work for me. I'm not gonna divulge too much because of spoilers but overall this has been one of my best reads of 2018. I really needed a gripping thrillery crime in my life and this hit the spot. Hence the super lengthy review!