"sometimes a dreadful fear comes over me that I'm not a genius"

did this book hit me right in the middle of my daddy issues? yes. did i fully sympathise with the main character and did i adore every bit of her? yes and yes. but at the same time was it an incredibly questionable read considering the ending? unfortunately, yes. am i endeared or repulsed? this is the first time in quite a while when my feelings about a book are so mixed even though it's so vibrant and obviously brilliant.