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A review by unhingedbookbitch
The Fake Mate by Lana Ferguson
funny
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
⭐️3.75
🌶️2.5
Putting a whole new meaning to “he got that dog in him.”
This is my first omegaverse book and I do not understand what the omegaverse is. I thought omega was just a blood type until recently so my knowledge is not vast on anything omega related. I know there’s dogs (there’s 2 wolves in me) and humans and like they’re in heat or some shit but that’s it. My thoughts on this book are a lot but I’ll sum it up by saying: it was like the only EDM rave I’ve ever been to - I had a fun chaotic time, I don’t remember most of it, and I don’t ever want to experience it again but overall a good time was had.
THE THOT’S PLOT (a new segment where I try to remember the book and give you a non-spoiler plot in my own words):
So miss girl (legit forgot her name and had to look it up) Mackenzie is an omegatron (barbz RIP until Nicki gets her act together) wolf shifter ER doctor (or should I say DOGtor sorry). Then there’s this Adam Driver looking motherf*cker Mr. Alpha wolf man named Noah. Mackenzie and Noah pretend to date for weak af reasons but whatevs I guess. Their commitment to the act becomes Austin-Butler-as-Elvis-in-the-movie-but-he-actually-became-more-Elvis-than-Austin-IRL-esque and they start taking that act from the streets to the sheets (aka they bang and develop feelings). For 2 people with so many degrees, you’d think they’d get a fucking blue’s clue (you get it? cause blue is a dog and the characters in this book are part dog? (should I have done a Scooby doo reference instead?)) about each other’s growing feelings. I bet these 2 fckers don’t have any student debt and I kinda hold that against them.
Things I enjoyed:
- Look I know I bitch a lo belowt. But this book was fun and silly and lighthearted. I’m just better at elaborating on shit I hate than shit I like. And I did like this book overall.
- love that Mackenzie was this independent, sexually liberated, smart doctor. She was a likable character despite my previous bitching about her behavior.
Things that irked me:
- I’m assuming you need to go into this book already understanding the omegaverse but like I know NOTHING and the characters are yapping like I should know the rules and vibes of omegatron-ness BUT I DONT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S DIFFERENT KINDS OF SHIFTERS??? AND YOU CAN TELL BY SMELLING???? WHERES THE OMEGATRON MANUAL??? I am confusion!!!
- Why is everyone in the book obsessed with Noah fcking Mackenzie??? Like the hospital is up in arms about it Jesus y’all acting like the opening song from Anastasia like go watch the news people there’s BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN THE ADAM DRIVER IMPERSONATOR DIDDLING A BLONDE WHITE WOMAN! Y’all don’t have yalls own problems to be discussing with others??? Yall are too concerned with this couple. Like juicy gossip is one thing but yall yapping about EVERY INTERACTION LIKE THERE ISNT ANYTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT. And then everyone knew this other dude (a BETA wolf guy nonetheless😩 how beta of him) had his eyes on Mackenzie??? Why are so many people concerned about the relations of a blonde white woman??? Unless she’s Miss Swift, I don’t give a fck imma say it. Like so much yapping and not enough action.
- I think the downfall of this book is the aforementioned yapping. Like look I get that the MCs gotta think but I felt like I read more internal monologuing than actual plot. Like at least make the thinking out loud with another character and not just endless pages of trains of thought and pondering. I already am stuck in my own rambling thoughts 24/7, I don’t need to see anyone else’s.
- SPOILER FOR A THIS NOTE LOOK AWAY IF YOU WANT TO BEFORE I YAP! Ok Dennis’ little blackmail thing is so stupid. Like Noah if he’s going to gaslight you then gaslight him just go to the board and be like this motherfcker was trying to blackmail me and make me break up with my mate and he’s a liar send him to jail. Or just tell Mackenzie that Dennis found out and act y’all broke up… YALL ALREADY AVTING ANYWAY. Like this was some 90s romcom shit to be like you have to break up with your bf/gf and convince them it’s your idea… like ma’am is this Moulin Rouge???? is this really life or death??? Fucjing queue up Gotta Go My Own Way from high school musical 2. But I do love that Mackenzie confronts Noah and is like YOU LIKE ME AND YOU SHOULDVE TOLD ME ABOUT DENNIS YOU ADORABLE SHITHEAD. Still a stupid reason to breakup tho like yall are dramatique.
END OF SPOILER
TRIGGERED -
Also (ignoring for now the fact that the intercourse between alphabets and omega3s are a BIG DEAL like Jesus WE GET IT YALLS BITS AND PARTS ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER OK), I got uncomfy with scene where Mack was trying to get Noah to sleep with her. I work as a s*xual ass*ult advocate so maybe I’m overly sensitive but idk man that scene didn’t sit right with my spirit. I’m all about women’s sexual liberation #girlboss and happy to see the portrayal of a FMC asking for what she wants sexually, but this didn’t feel like that. It felt like r@pe-y like if it was reversed roles like Noah coming on hard to Mack and she’s all hesitant like that’d be just as creepy. Like Mackenzie says he’s being “chivalrous” when he’s not saying yes to f*cking but like he has reasons for not wanting to and is super hesitant. AND LEMME JUST GET ON MY SOAP BOX REAL QUICK… just because you are turned on and thinking about the intercourse NO STILL MEANS NO. You should go in 100%. If you at 99%, I’m rounding it down to 0%. There’s a difference between being nervous and not wanting to do something (the reason can be whatever, any reason is valid). Okay? Okay. I’m stepping off the box now. Y’all come grab your soap.
Omegatron verse commentary:
- So like is the alphas and omegas mixing like universal donor and universal receiver blood mixing like what’s the big deal??? I DONT UNDERSTAND.
- Tf is a mating gland? Sis do you mean your ovaries? Does this fucker bite you in the ovaries? America explain
- A heat cycle??? Is that like equivalent to ovulating? That I can understand, my thirst is off the charts at peak ovulation ig
- Smells are important apparently, good thing I got some Victoria’s Secret smelling spray so I can smell juicy to all the wolf people out there. Y’all gonna want to be biting my glands for sure
- So you’re telling me that some wolf guy could smack into me in the hall then I’d go around smelling like wet dog all day??? And other wolf guys would be like she’s taken?? It’s giving “T for Troy” necklace vibes
- Coat = wolf fur… not an actual coat. I did not understand this for an absurd amount of time reading this and I wondering wtf was the big deal with everyone’s winter coats☠️☠️
- Wolf people do actual necking to spread their smell. Like legit neck to neck.
- Apparently alphas and omegas are the most sexually compatible… whatever that means (I’m gonna assume that if you’re fucking a half wolf that the sex would be feral and fun regardless of wolf status - how classist of the omegaverse)
- Ok alphabets and omegatrons f*cking is a VERY big deal. They won’t stfu about it. Sounds like they about to lose their virginity fr.
- OHHHHHHHH alpha = dom and omega = sub AHHHHH ok
- Idk about the knot man… I can barely stand the presence of men AND YOU WANT HIM TO ATTACH HIMSELF TO ME INTERNALLY???
- I PASSED OUT LAST TIME I GOT A PAP SMEAR IDK IF I COULD HANDLE A KNOT
- So even tho he’s alpha, the man is pussy whipped fr after getting that good omega poonani. Very beta of him😤
- So much smelling going on. I don’t think I’ve ever read such a sniff-heavy book
- IM DYING LAUGHING AT THIS SCENE WHERE SHE PASSES OUT WHEN SHE GOES INTO HEAT. I THOUGHT THIS BITCH WAS ABOUT TO BE UNALIVE. NO! She’s just entered her ovulation/heat era smdh I cannot stop laughing like I thought homegirl was about to get an iron lung or something norrrr she just so horny she could unalive if she doesn’t fck (aren’t we all?)
- I sympathize if the fictional heat bodily reaction is like the human period cycle that shit be making me vom and ptfo
- Also now that I understand what the hype is about the omega3 and alphabet soup collab, I’m vvvvv annoyed that Mack and Noah keep wondering why they’re acting weird and clingy after boinking. LIKE HELLO YALL BEEN MAKING A BIG ASS DEAL ABOUT THE ALPHA x OMEGATRON collab ALL BOOK and NOW YOURE suddenly surprised yall are simping hard???? I THOUGHT YALL WERE GENIUS MAGICAL WERE-DOCTORS!!! USE YOUR BRAINS!!!!
- Apparently the wolf-people infested USA in this book has leave for women and couples IN HEAT???? What kinda miracle healthcare system and work life balance have the wolf people established??? We need to elect more wolf people into Congress
- I still can’t over that their jobs are giving them both paid leave for a sex-cursion
Again, overall I liked the book. I wasn’t like itching to keep picking up the book which is why it took me soooo long (like 3 weeks and thats very long for me) and the pacing was a little off. Still I like how light hearted and cutesy it was and now I’m an honorary omegaverse citizen🫡
Tags: F/M, wolf shifters or something, modern day romantasy, omegaverse ig idk, fake dating, dual povs, grumpy (him) x sunshine (her), he falls first, workplace romance, praise, alpha x omega, slight age gap (i think like 7 years? Idk man I forgot)
Triggers: child abandonment (in past), blackmail
🌶️2.5
Putting a whole new meaning to “he got that dog in him.”
This is my first omegaverse book and I do not understand what the omegaverse is. I thought omega was just a blood type until recently so my knowledge is not vast on anything omega related. I know there’s dogs (there’s 2 wolves in me) and humans and like they’re in heat or some shit but that’s it. My thoughts on this book are a lot but I’ll sum it up by saying: it was like the only EDM rave I’ve ever been to - I had a fun chaotic time, I don’t remember most of it, and I don’t ever want to experience it again but overall a good time was had.
THE THOT’S PLOT (a new segment where I try to remember the book and give you a non-spoiler plot in my own words):
So miss girl (legit forgot her name and had to look it up) Mackenzie is an omegatron (barbz RIP until Nicki gets her act together) wolf shifter ER doctor (or should I say DOGtor sorry). Then there’s this Adam Driver looking motherf*cker Mr. Alpha wolf man named Noah. Mackenzie and Noah pretend to date for weak af reasons but whatevs I guess. Their commitment to the act becomes Austin-Butler-as-Elvis-in-the-movie-but-he-actually-became-more-Elvis-than-Austin-IRL-esque and they start taking that act from the streets to the sheets (aka they bang and develop feelings). For 2 people with so many degrees, you’d think they’d get a fucking blue’s clue (you get it? cause blue is a dog and the characters in this book are part dog? (should I have done a Scooby doo reference instead?)) about each other’s growing feelings. I bet these 2 fckers don’t have any student debt and I kinda hold that against them.
Things I enjoyed:
- Look I know I bitch a lo belowt. But this book was fun and silly and lighthearted. I’m just better at elaborating on shit I hate than shit I like. And I did like this book overall.
- love that Mackenzie was this independent, sexually liberated, smart doctor. She was a likable character despite my previous bitching about her behavior.
Things that irked me:
- I’m assuming you need to go into this book already understanding the omegaverse but like I know NOTHING and the characters are yapping like I should know the rules and vibes of omegatron-ness BUT I DONT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S DIFFERENT KINDS OF SHIFTERS??? AND YOU CAN TELL BY SMELLING???? WHERES THE OMEGATRON MANUAL??? I am confusion!!!
- Why is everyone in the book obsessed with Noah fcking Mackenzie??? Like the hospital is up in arms about it Jesus y’all acting like the opening song from Anastasia like go watch the news people there’s BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN THE ADAM DRIVER IMPERSONATOR DIDDLING A BLONDE WHITE WOMAN! Y’all don’t have yalls own problems to be discussing with others??? Yall are too concerned with this couple. Like juicy gossip is one thing but yall yapping about EVERY INTERACTION LIKE THERE ISNT ANYTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT. And then everyone knew this other dude (a BETA wolf guy nonetheless😩 how beta of him) had his eyes on Mackenzie??? Why are so many people concerned about the relations of a blonde white woman??? Unless she’s Miss Swift, I don’t give a fck imma say it. Like so much yapping and not enough action.
- I think the downfall of this book is the aforementioned yapping. Like look I get that the MCs gotta think but I felt like I read more internal monologuing than actual plot. Like at least make the thinking out loud with another character and not just endless pages of trains of thought and pondering. I already am stuck in my own rambling thoughts 24/7, I don’t need to see anyone else’s.
- SPOILER FOR A THIS NOTE LOOK AWAY IF YOU WANT TO BEFORE I YAP! Ok Dennis’ little blackmail thing is so stupid. Like Noah if he’s going to gaslight you then gaslight him just go to the board and be like this motherfcker was trying to blackmail me and make me break up with my mate and he’s a liar send him to jail. Or just tell Mackenzie that Dennis found out and act y’all broke up… YALL ALREADY AVTING ANYWAY. Like this was some 90s romcom shit to be like you have to break up with your bf/gf and convince them it’s your idea… like ma’am is this Moulin Rouge???? is this really life or death??? Fucjing queue up Gotta Go My Own Way from high school musical 2. But I do love that Mackenzie confronts Noah and is like YOU LIKE ME AND YOU SHOULDVE TOLD ME ABOUT DENNIS YOU ADORABLE SHITHEAD. Still a stupid reason to breakup tho like yall are dramatique.
END OF SPOILER
TRIGGERED -
Also (ignoring for now the fact that the intercourse between alphabets and omega3s are a BIG DEAL like Jesus WE GET IT YALLS BITS AND PARTS ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER OK), I got uncomfy with scene where Mack was trying to get Noah to sleep with her. I work as a s*xual ass*ult advocate so maybe I’m overly sensitive but idk man that scene didn’t sit right with my spirit. I’m all about women’s sexual liberation #girlboss and happy to see the portrayal of a FMC asking for what she wants sexually, but this didn’t feel like that. It felt like r@pe-y like if it was reversed roles like Noah coming on hard to Mack and she’s all hesitant like that’d be just as creepy. Like Mackenzie says he’s being “chivalrous” when he’s not saying yes to f*cking but like he has reasons for not wanting to and is super hesitant. AND LEMME JUST GET ON MY SOAP BOX REAL QUICK… just because you are turned on and thinking about the intercourse NO STILL MEANS NO. You should go in 100%. If you at 99%, I’m rounding it down to 0%. There’s a difference between being nervous and not wanting to do something (the reason can be whatever, any reason is valid). Okay? Okay. I’m stepping off the box now. Y’all come grab your soap.
Omegatron verse commentary:
- So like is the alphas and omegas mixing like universal donor and universal receiver blood mixing like what’s the big deal??? I DONT UNDERSTAND.
- Tf is a mating gland? Sis do you mean your ovaries? Does this fucker bite you in the ovaries? America explain
- A heat cycle??? Is that like equivalent to ovulating? That I can understand, my thirst is off the charts at peak ovulation ig
- Smells are important apparently, good thing I got some Victoria’s Secret smelling spray so I can smell juicy to all the wolf people out there. Y’all gonna want to be biting my glands for sure
- So you’re telling me that some wolf guy could smack into me in the hall then I’d go around smelling like wet dog all day??? And other wolf guys would be like she’s taken?? It’s giving “T for Troy” necklace vibes
- Coat = wolf fur… not an actual coat. I did not understand this for an absurd amount of time reading this and I wondering wtf was the big deal with everyone’s winter coats☠️☠️
- Wolf people do actual necking to spread their smell. Like legit neck to neck.
- Apparently alphas and omegas are the most sexually compatible… whatever that means (I’m gonna assume that if you’re fucking a half wolf that the sex would be feral and fun regardless of wolf status - how classist of the omegaverse)
- Ok alphabets and omegatrons f*cking is a VERY big deal. They won’t stfu about it. Sounds like they about to lose their virginity fr.
- OHHHHHHHH alpha = dom and omega = sub AHHHHH ok
- Idk about the knot man… I can barely stand the presence of men AND YOU WANT HIM TO ATTACH HIMSELF TO ME INTERNALLY???
- I PASSED OUT LAST TIME I GOT A PAP SMEAR IDK IF I COULD HANDLE A KNOT
- So even tho he’s alpha, the man is pussy whipped fr after getting that good omega poonani. Very beta of him😤
- So much smelling going on. I don’t think I’ve ever read such a sniff-heavy book
- IM DYING LAUGHING AT THIS SCENE WHERE SHE PASSES OUT WHEN SHE GOES INTO HEAT. I THOUGHT THIS BITCH WAS ABOUT TO BE UNALIVE. NO! She’s just entered her ovulation/heat era smdh I cannot stop laughing like I thought homegirl was about to get an iron lung or something norrrr she just so horny she could unalive if she doesn’t fck (aren’t we all?)
- I sympathize if the fictional heat bodily reaction is like the human period cycle that shit be making me vom and ptfo
- Also now that I understand what the hype is about the omega3 and alphabet soup collab, I’m vvvvv annoyed that Mack and Noah keep wondering why they’re acting weird and clingy after boinking. LIKE HELLO YALL BEEN MAKING A BIG ASS DEAL ABOUT THE ALPHA x OMEGATRON collab ALL BOOK and NOW YOURE suddenly surprised yall are simping hard???? I THOUGHT YALL WERE GENIUS MAGICAL WERE-DOCTORS!!! USE YOUR BRAINS!!!!
- Apparently the wolf-people infested USA in this book has leave for women and couples IN HEAT???? What kinda miracle healthcare system and work life balance have the wolf people established??? We need to elect more wolf people into Congress
- I still can’t over that their jobs are giving them both paid leave for a sex-cursion
Again, overall I liked the book. I wasn’t like itching to keep picking up the book which is why it took me soooo long (like 3 weeks and thats very long for me) and the pacing was a little off. Still I like how light hearted and cutesy it was and now I’m an honorary omegaverse citizen🫡
Tags: F/M, wolf shifters or something, modern day romantasy, omegaverse ig idk, fake dating, dual povs, grumpy (him) x sunshine (her), he falls first, workplace romance, praise, alpha x omega, slight age gap (i think like 7 years? Idk man I forgot)
Triggers: child abandonment (in past), blackmail