let me preface this by saying this book wasn’t bad at all, i’m the problem; it were my own expectations of what shae’s story would look like that didn’t let me enjoy this book as much as it deserved. there was nothing wrong with it, i’m not trying to dismiss neither main characters nor the plot itself, and the writing was on par with what this author has come to deliver every time. but i just couldn’t fully connect with it. i’ve wanted shae’s story since the first time she appeared in the previous series, a badass woman within the mafia ranks, and sapphic on top of that? my dream come true. did i want her to end up with a woman? yes, as a lesbian myself of course i wanted her to date another woman. but that wasn’t my “issue”. i expected her story to be action packed and chaotic, no pun intended, just like she is. at first that’s exactly what this book was but then it mellowed down, the pace was so slow and personally it felt like it was dragging. when all i wanted was for her to kick ass and show men how it is, which she did, just not in the most satisfying way for me. i will say, however, i really appreciated how the author tackled her different multitudes. the way the book alone started was not only refreshing but empowering. throughout the story, how she was portrayed, her argument of viewing fashion through a lens of functionality but still embracing her femininity – couldn’t have been more obsessed. that is, up until the villain was revealed and her hypocrisy and double standard felt like character decline, rather than growth. and i wished that had been handled a little bit better and the credit due to the villain wasn’t overlooked based on their gender and motive slash execution; shae found power in embracing love but the villain doing it for love garnered pity? it rubbed me the wrong way. overall, after that twist at the 65% mark the book was tainted for me, just wasn’t a fan of the mmc. 

* i was sent an arc by the next step pr in exchange for a honest review