Book content warnings: suicide, homophobia

How We Desire is a refreshing essay on identity, specifically where sexuality is concerned. Emcke writes about her Christian upbringing, which was filled with specific rules and boxes to follow and fill. Her essay discusses the importance of giving children complete information regarding their bodies. In a way, she also gives a nod to representation: Emcke didn't fully realize who she was and she couldn't put a name to her feelings because she didn't have examples to draw from. Throughout her essay, she also contemplates the suicide of her classmate. Emcke suspects becoming the homophobic taunts his classmates directed at him are part of the reason for his death. She recognizes her classmate was always on the fringes, and perhaps it was his sexuality that pushed him out of the group.

I'd recommend the book because it's a coming-of-age essay. Although it does not focus on one defining event, it does show the progression of Emcke's identity from childhood until adulthood. Emcke is honest and thorough in her discussions, even mentioning how the way she presents herself must change depending on the context (because, in some parts of the world, her identity could mean death for her and those around her). I might keep this one in my collection in case someone I know needs to see something like it.