aforestofbooks's reviews
502 reviews

I want to scream!!! This book was literally everything I could have ever hoped for. It was also creepily accurate. I am convinced the author knows my friend Jo because the Jo in this book is waay too similar to my aroace friend Jo irl. I had a great time sending her screenshots of “her” chapter headings. She felt attacked every time. It was great.

I’m 100% a Wendy and I love it. Sophie gets me. But Jo does too 😭 Her feeling lonely and wondering what her future will look like without romance and wanting a QPR someday was too real. And Sophie struggling with her parents accepting her, also too real. I felt attacked on all fronts. It wasn’t fair. 

But I’m so happy I read this book. It left me feeling hopeful and it was cute and soft without the romance which is definitely needed. I want to see more friends saying they love each other and doing things for each other that is expected in romantic and sexual relationships, but should be just as normal in platonic ones. The last few chapters made me almost cry. And Sophie’s speech to Jo about learning to accept that you’ll always question being aroace and that it’s okay and just a part of life was very validating.

10/10 stars for this book. I need to get my hands on a copy. 

This is 100% making it on my top books of 2024.

Before I say anything, I just want to acknowledge how difficult this must have been to write for Etaf. I know she was worried that this story would play into the stereotypes and prejudices people have about Muslims and Islam, especially relating to the role of women, arranged marriages, and abuse. I can say with confidence though, that this book does an excellent job distinguishing between culture/tradition and religion. We get a couple scenes where Isra or Deya notice the difference between what they're taught about Islam and what plays out in their lives and how it doesn't make any sense. It's also something I've realized myself over the last few years-how people are bound to their culture more than their faith, to the point where they act like culture is God over their religion. 

I was originally planning to read Evil Eye first, when someone on Instagram told me it's actually her second book, so I quickly placed a hold on this book. I didn't even bother reading the synopsis, so I went into this book not sure what to expect...

This book hurt to read. It made me so angry I wanted to break something. And all I could think about was how this could have been me, and how it was almost me, but I got lucky and "ran away". I wasn't expecting to come away understanding my culture and family better, even though I'm not Arab, but I did. Etaf Rum wrote a book that was life-changing for me and one I will never ever forget.

We get three POVs–Isra, Deya, and Fareeda–one from each generation, which I think perfectly captured the generation divide that many of us have experienced or are experiencing. I saw so much of myself in Isra and Deya, to the point where it was triggering and painful. It brought back dark memories and parts of my past that I had forgotten. And while I hated this book for that, it also forced me to reflect and accept what I have been through and be proud of where I am today.

Isra as a character felt very much like me: quiet, dutiful, constantly trying to please and get people's approval and love, justifying the abuse, and blaming herself. I felt so much for Isra. I understood her darkness, her hopeless, her unhappiness. I cried for her because she was trying so hard, but felt like she was failing as a mother to her daughters. She wanted things to be different and better for her daughters, but she couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think a lot of people might find this difficult to understand, but unless you've been in these shoes, and felt what it's like to be trapped in a corner, with nowhere to go, no good options, you end up succumbing to what you know, what tradition and culture has taught you, and despite knowing about the horrors, you push it away because it's easier to ignore and just accept sometimes. 

We see some of this in Deya too as she straddles between accepting that this is her lot in life and wanting to stand up for herself and fight back. So many parts of this book gave me deja vu. Both Deya and Isra reminded me of different parts of my past. Isra came first, then Deya, with a little but if Sarah sprinkled in. I felt so much for this young girl wanting desperately to know the truth and find a way out of the cycle of abuse she's witnessed and experienced. I understood  when she didn't know what to do or what the best decision was. And I understood her fear. Fear is so powerful, but I'm glad Deya's self-preservation was stronger, just like it was for me. 

Fareeda was a very interesting pov. Her chapters felt like everything I have heard growing up written out in paragraphs. At the same time, seeing this topic discussed across generations was very eye-opening for me. I felt like I finally understood why moms say and do the things they say and do. It doesn't make it okay at all, but sometimes understanding can be part of healing. Imagine living a life of occupation, displacement, starvation, abuse, being told over and over again that this is your role in life, and having no other options. It's very hard to think outside of a life like that. Anything that isn't your norm is scary and dangerous. There's comfort in sameness, even if that sameness means continuing on the cycle of abuse and trauma. Because it's something you can understand and predict. I think there's even a small part that says "If I went through this, so should you", which I don't think was discussed much in this book, but something I truly believe. Maybe it's the need to have others who can sympathize with you that make mothers and grandmothers want the same thing for their daughters...

Sarah is a character I have mixed feelings for. I did like her role in Deya's character development, but I think at times she was too harsh on the girl. While she didn't want Deya to follow in her footsteps, she also wasn't as forthcoming and helpful as I think she could have been. Yet at the same time, maybe the harshness was what Deya needed. I do think she could have been more understanding and accepting of Deya's point of view though, especially when Deya talks about how she felt her mother hated being a mother. Sarah denies this and says Isra loved being her mother, but I think it takes away from Deya noticing from a young age the way her mother treated her and her sisters. Even Isra notices herself acting in ways she shouldn't. And while that can be explained by her depression, I don't think  it should take away from how Deya feels based off her memories of her. 

There were a few scenes that stood out to me. The one where Sarah finds out her friend Hannah was murdered by her husband and realized that the same thing could happen to her, but her mother doesn't care. Sarah, Isra, and Deya realizing that despite their mothers having experienced abuse themselves, they're still okay with their daughters ending up with the same fate. And Deya confronting Fareeda about the truth and watching Fareeda make excuses for her son, but say absolutely nothing about protecting Isra more. All three girls come to realize that their gender means nothing to not just the men in their family but also the women who have raised them. And I think this is something that is prominent in all cultures. Sometimes the people who you would expect to have your back because they have gone through something similar are the ones twisting the knife in deeper. It's a painful realization to come to however.

The book ends kind of bittersweet. We see Deya able to go off to college and attain that freedom she's craved so badly, but we're also left with what might be Isra's final moments of trying to attain her freedom, yet we know as the reader how that ended. 

I'm going to add a bunch of quotes I highlighted from this book here because I want to be able to go back and reread them.

"I don't know, it's just...Sometimes I think maybe happiness isn't real, at least not for me. I know it sounds dramatic, but...Maybe if I keep everyone at arm's length, if I don't expect anything from the world, I won't be disappointed."

"It was because they'd been loved in their lives that they believed in love, saw it surely for themselves in their futures, even in places it clearly wasn't."

"She had to give him what he wanted and enjoy giving it to him, too. And she would do that. She would give him herself if it meant he'd give her his love."

"If you live your life waiting for a man's love, you'll be disappointed."

"Maybe once she was married, she could finally be free."

"Or perhaps it was because Isra had been raised to think that love was something only a man could give her, like everything else."

"She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."

"But pretending nothing's wrong is not protecting yourself. If anything, it's much more dangerous to live pretending to be someone you're not."

"No matter how I look at it, I'm still being forced to get married. Just because I'm offered options, that doesn't mean I have a choice. Don't you see? A real choice doesn't have conditions. A real choice is free."

"She wasn't sure of the precise reason, but if her own family was willing to throw her away to the first man who asked, then why should she expect more from anyone else? She shouldn't. She was only being safe, she reasoned. She was only protecting herself."

"It's the loneliest people who love books the most."

"You're making it sound like I have more power over my life than I actually do, and it's not fair. If things were really that simple, then why didn't you do that yourself."

"You're telling me I need to accept myself for who I am, that I need to stand up for what I truly believe in instead of running away, but that only sounds good in theory. It doesn't work like that in the real world. Self-acceptance won't solve my problems, and courage won't get me anywhere. These things sound great in some inspirational speech, or in a book, but the real world is much more complicated."

"Isra resented her books in these moments when she thought about the limits of her life and how easy courage seemed when you boiled it down to a few words on paper."

"Words can do extraordinary things, but sometimes they were not enough."

"And, if that wasn't enough, how could they have urged her to get married young and quickly, as her parents had done. How could they risks something like this happening again? Happening to her?"

"Knowing she couldn't change things–that she didn't have a choice–made living it more bearable."

"That she would do the same thing to her daughters that Mama had done to her. That she would force them to repeat her life."

"Deya wanted to scream. No one she'd ever met actually lived according to the doctrines of Islam. They were all hypocrites and liars!"

"If we educate our women, we give them power over their lives and over themselves. And if we allow them this power, they're not going to put up with the injustices committed against them."

"Instead of reaching out, she is taught to reach in, conceal, pretend. When she internalizes this experience, she begins to enforce this silence in the women around her, teaching her daughters and granddaughters to do the same, a passing down of silence."

5/5 stars. A book I hope every immigrant girl reads.

This is my fault. I didn’t realize this was book two, and while I don’t think you need the background from the first book to read this one, it was a bit weird and confusing and ended super abruptly. Not awful but not amazing…

I would have loved this more if it hadn't taken me 25 days to read it. I fell into a book slump mid-way that had nothing to do with this book, and because of that and work, I just didn't have much energy to read.

But I will say, this book has the best found family I've read in a while. It made me teary. I loved all of them so much. Oil and Ami's friendship though was really something. I miss reading books that don't have romance and just focus on friendship. We need more of these because they're so wholesome and fulfilling. 

3/5 stars (probably would be 4/5 if I had read this in a week or two)

Reading this book while watching a genocide unfold in Gaza live from my phone is the weirdest reading experience ever. The entire time, my thoughts oscillated between:

"Is this author alive? (May Allah grant Refaat Alareer and his family Jannah). Have they lost family and friends? Where are they in Gaza right now? Are the people they mentioned in their essays/stories still alive? What about the house they live in? Is it completely destroyed? Are they starving in northern Gaza? Are they getting bombed in Rafah? Are they under siege in a hospital? Have they been arrested and tortured? What are they thinking right now?"

Each essay/story highlighted a different aspect of Gaza and the issues it faces under Zionist occupation. I love how each author cites their sources with footnotes. It makes you realize the breadth of evidence we have about Israel's war crimes, especially in comparison to the Nazi Zionists who love coming up with lies based on zero evidence or sources.

Every topic that's discussed, whether it's about travelling restrictions, electricity, agriculture, art, architecture, made me think of Gaza now. The essay "Ethical Implications of Experimental Design on Affected Communities in the Gaza Strip" was especially painful to read. Seeing how hard Gazans work to rebuild their homes and communities after every zionist attack, made me think of the drone footage we got from Motaz about the level of destruction in Gaza from this genocide. Anytime I see videos of destroyed buildings, exposed beams and wires, streets that no longer look like streets, it makes me realize how enormous the scale of this attack is compared to the others. The difficulty in rebuilding Gaza after the previous attacks pales in comparison to what it'll take to rebuild Gaza if Israel is ever held accountable and forced to stop this ethnic cleansing campaign.

"Regimes of oppression work tirelessly to render the historical context of oppressed people irrelevant and obscure. Their final goal is to portray oppressed people and their struggles for reclaiming their rights as irrational and, at worst, reduce them to a threat against those who built their privilege at the expense of others." (Abusalim, J., Introduction)

"Knowledge is Israel's worst enemy. Awareness is Israel's most hated and feared foe. That's why Israel bombs a university: it wants to kill openness and determination to refuse living under injustice and racism." (Alareer, R., Gaza Asks: When Shall This Pass?)

"We hold onto our phones for dear life because we have learned the hard way that documenting what we are going through is very important to ensure our narrative remains alive and remains ours. Our stories, our struggle and pain, and the atrocities committed against us for more than seven decades are being erased. The Israeli journalist Hagar Shezaf explained how Israeli Defense Ministry teams systematically removed historical documents from Israeli archives, which describe the killing of Palestinians, the demolition of their villages and the expulsion of entire Palestinian communities. This is part of Israel's attempt to constantly rewrite history in its favour. So, we hold tight to our phones and record." (Abu Mezied, A., On Why We Still Hold Onto Our Phones and Keep Recording)

"The problem is no longer a lack of evidence against Israel's constructed myths or its powerful public relations, or even insufficient grassroots action, whether in Palestine or globally. The problem is that the international system is not prepared to truly listen to the cries of the Palestinians for justice amid immoral investment to maintain Israel apartheid. The international system leveraged its power to make the Arab regimes complicit in perpetuating Israeli occupation. Later through the Oslo Accords, the PLO also became complicit. This is happening despite the unsustainable realities that trap us, with ramifications beyond the boundaries of historic Palestine, as seen elsewhere in the Middle East, in Kashmir, and even in the US. Israel is exporting innovative models of oppression to other dictators and oppressive regimes that are using these 'tested' methods against their unwanted Others, a situation that should worry every citizen." (Abusalama, S., Breaking the Vicious Cycle of Permanent Temporality) 

I only typed out a few quotes I highlighted that stood out to me and made me realize how Palestinians have been voicing their arguments, concerns, anger for years and years...only for little change to be made. This time, things have been different. Israel is scared because the world now has knowledge and awareness of their war crimes. It's why the US is moving towards banning TikTok. It's why people are getting censored on social media. It's why many individuals have lost their jobs from speaking out against genocide and ethnic cleansing and apartheid. And yet, Israel continues to commit crimes despite knowing we know these things, because they know the international powers will sit back and let them get away with it. It's why it's so important to disrupt social order, make people's lives hell, boycott, sanction, etc. It's why we can't let a UN resolution of a possible temporary ceasefire be enough to stop us from protesting and move on. It's what Israel and the US wants. And this time around, things feel so much closer to liberation than they did in the past. It's the only bit of hope any of us have, that things will be different this time. 

I loved Elatsoe, so I knew I needed to get my hands on this book. This lived up to my expectations and then some. I love a good adventure book, and this was definitely that. Also, kudos for Shane bringing Marcos along with her, because too many books like to leave little kids home, while the big kids go off on missions to save the world. I think it worked very well with some of the messages we get from this book, especially surrounding family and culture and traditions and how important they are to pass on to the generations after you. 

The last chapter and the epilogue were obviously my favourite parts, and I think anyone who reads this will enjoy those two chapters. They were very satisfying and heartwarming and concluded this story perfectly.

So good! A must read. I wish there was more set in this world. 

ooh I finally get to say I read a book thanks to Mackenzie.

This was so cute and wholesome and fun. The premise isn't exactly a "cozy" fantasy, but it feels cozy just because of the queer-platonic friendships and found family aspects. 

I'm so curious to see where this story goes and I wish more fantasy novella series existed because they're very quick reads, but also so much fun. 

I finally caved and requested this book thanks to Gretal (yet again). It's always weird reading a book written by an author you kind of know. Or in this case, you know their twin sister. I was worried I wasn't going to like this book like so many other muslim contemporary books, but I really enjoyed this one.

This book made me laugh, it made me emotional, and it made me angry. The release of this book coinciding with the genocide in Gaza and the world waking up to the terrorism that is zionism and Israel could not have been more perfect. Everything Nida goes through are things we've been experiencing and seeing with our own eyes. The rage she feels felt like our rage at the world right now. And the hope she has inside of her, is the hope many of us have that something will be different this time. 

The interview scene was probably my favourite scene in this entire book. It made me so angry I wanted to break something, especially after seeing this exact scene play out on the news the first few weeks of this genocide when Palestinians were being interviewed and asked to condemn Hamas. Watching Nida fight back and say everything I've always wanted to say was so satisfying. I loved seeing her take charge of her story and find her voice, and also realize she doesn't have to write poetry because of her mamou or stop writing poetry because of her mom, but she can write as a way to express herself and her anger and her truth. 

Also shoutout to the Shia side character in this book, Rayan. It was so nice to see that seamlessly added to this story, especially considering people forget we exist most of the time.

My few issues with the book were Jawad. He was just so mean to Nida. I'm glad there was no romantic subplot between the two of them, but I think he could have been more understanding of what Nida was going through and realize just because he would do things a certain way, doesn't mean everyone else should.

The magical realism aspect of this book was interesting, though the entire time I thought it was a manifestation of her anxiety, before it was revealed that it's actually a family curse. I wasn't really expecting this in a contemporary book so it did take me out of the story sometimes.

The only other issue I had was some of the dialogue didn't flow super well or feel like an actual conversation between two people, which might have been changed since I read the arc.

Also the arc has horrible formatting for the poems if you read it on the Kindle app which was kind of annoying 😭

But overall, this was a pretty good read and I'm glad I picked it up!

3.5/5 stars

This book is one of those books that leaves you so much to think about after turning the last page.

The writing was beautiful, lyrical, descriptive. It's quite heavy on narrative over dialogue, which took me longer to read, but being inside these characters' heads, and experiencing their thoughts and desires and confusions, really made this book. 

Every character in this book is complex and multidimensional. They're messy, and sometimes (a lot of the times) not likeable at all. But I think the author captured what a real family, touched with intergenerational trauma, war, death, and displacement would be like. And despite not having similar experiences as many of these characters, I saw bits and pieces of myself and my family in them too.

One thing that stood out to me, and something that I think I knew but didn't realize how significant of an effect this has, was the back-to-back conflicts that happened in the middle-east from the mid 1900s to early 2000s. Every generation of the Yaqoub family is affected by war. Alia's mother goes through the 1948 Nakba, and then Alia and her husband and siblings go through the 1967 Six Days War. And once they're in Kuwait, they're surrounded by a melting pot of people from all over the neighbouring nations, each affected by Israel and America in very similar ways. The descriptions we get of death, destruction, starvation, are a stark echo of our current world and makes you realize with indelible anger, how much things have not changed. 

The relationship dynamics are frustrating, but understandable. Each character suffers from trauma and reacts to situations differently. I loved Atef because he felt so similar to me as a person–quiet, reserved, retreating to his study to write letters to process his grief and trauma. Alia's character was the most difficult for me to read because of how her actions and reactions to her trauma and grief mirrored those I've experienced irl at the hands of others. And the kids and grandkids...I think these characters specifically are ones a lot of children of immigrants can relate to. The need to get away from your culture and embrace the culture and life of the colonizer, only to realize you miss your family and your language and culture, but have lost access to those things because of time and place. All concluding in nowhere feeling like home because you never feel "enough" to begin with. 

I didn't realize the author is a psychologist until I finished this book, but it makes so much sense now with how she wrote these characters and described the effects of trauma between generations. 

I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to pick up this book.