allthatissim's reviews
460 reviews

Before Your Memory Fades is the third instalment in the Before the Coffee Gets Cold series, and unlike the previous two books, it failed to capture my attention the way the former ones did! 

Let me explain why though. Before Your Memory Fades wasn’t bad at all. If had the same kind of emotions, the same kind of connections formed by grief and death, same sentiments. However, the writing felt kind of long, overused and repetitive. Because of the repetitiveness, it failed to tug on my heartstrings the way the previous instalments did.

That being said, these stories, though rooted in grief, always come as uplifting and satisfying. There is a kind of connection that we feel and can’t ignore with each one of Kawaguchi’s characters. Each story attaches us differently and plays with different emotions underneath while working on a similar concept of loss.

The best part of these books is that they are short and to the point (despite the repetitiveness) and aren’t that deep-level character studies, so they are easily enjoyable.

I have the physical copy still I listened to the audiobook because I feel that is the best way to read these stories.

This instalment has four interconnected stories- a daughter holding a grudge for her dead parents to leave her orphaned; a comedian moving forward in life only to complete his deceased wife’s dream of his success; a younger sister all-consumed in the grief of her sister’s untimely death; a young man realising his love for his childhood friend too late.

Despite the third instalment being my least favourite in the series so far, I would recommend it for sure and am looking forward to the next instalment coming later this year 😊

I didn’t know who Jeannette is before this book. I have never watched iCarly or anything else she has acted in. Then why did I choose to read this book? Because of the title! It is meant to be intriguing after all. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Do I recommend it? I a 100% yes.

This memoir is everything the people are describing it to be: honest, raw, vulnerable, heartbreaking. And the centre of the memoir, in Jeannette’s words, is “the fragility of mom’s life is the centre of mine”. Told in two parts, before death and after the death of her mother, Jeanette told her story refreshingly with dark humour, whereas the other part of the story is about her struggles with eating disorders.

Mother-daughter relationships are complicated but to be glad for your mother's death? That sounds insane, right? But what if your mother is an emotional abuser? What if her dream is for you to be the version she wanted to be no matter what? What if you are not even allowed to shower by yourself until the age of sixteen? What if you can't eat without any judgement and are living off calorie restriction, in turn becoming anorexic? What if you aren't allowed to have an ounce of freedom and privacy over your diaries, emails, income, and even relationships?

This was the life of Jeanette McCurdy until her mother's death, and after her mother's death as well because guilt is a monster after all. Jeanette's mom wanted her daughter to be an actor and hence she bestowed special attention on her since her childhood, and in return Jeanette would do anything to make her mother happy, never prioritizing her wishes.

"She wanted this. And I wanted her to have it. I wanted her to be happy. But now that I have it, I realise she's happy and I'm not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine."

Her mother wanted to seek the benefit of her daughter's younghood so she tricked her into an eating disorder, anorexia, which is called 'Calorie restriction' and Jeanette, always thinking about making her mother happy, went into that. She told her it made it easier for her to be cast in roles much younger for her age. Her relationship with food (and in turn with acting) kept getting worse, so much so that later in life, when she wants to eat all the junk, her self-consciousness turns it into guilt and she develops another eating disorder, bulimia.

Her mom was a cancer patient but she was ecstatic, living high on her daughter's fame, always emotionally manipulating and micromanaging her. Whereas Jeanette is living with self-loathing, anxiety and shame which turns into eating disorders and unhealthy relationships.

After the death of her mother, the issues get worse but she discovers therapy and quit acting (which she never loved). She had built a narrative and a life towards the lie that her mother was perfect and that whatever she did was for her own good. But when her therapy sessions start undoing this narrative, she struggled to see the actual truth and to deal with the emotions that she was suppressing through drinking and purging. After all, it was hard to finally realize that her mother was a narcissist.

There is another aspect of the book that needs to be discussed. We don't specifically have a lot of actors speaking out about their experiences on set as child actors and how it impacted their lives but it's a very necessary perspective to hear. Some of the things that Jeanette shared about her struggles at the set, the abuse, and the stardom, were jarring and made me realise that as consumers we mindlessly consume those content without actually thinking about what goes on behind the curtain. Child actors often have pressure to be successful when they get old but only a few of them get to stardom. Jeanette was a quite self-aware child star in that narrative and she tries to explain why child stars don’t often become super successful after their popular role.

She is on the journey of self-recovery and acting towards the things she wants in her life. And I have nothing but great respect for Jeanette to come out of such an abusive environment and trauma and try to recover. I really appreciate her courage to recall these incidents and to share this personal story and struggles with the world with such honesty and dry humour. I only hope she is doing much better in her life and is now able to move forward.

From a reader's point of view, I would say that Jeanette has written the book without any flowery details thus presenting what is and what was straightforward. It makes the narrative very raw and real and relatable. I highly recommend reading this memoir, but please check the trigger warnings before you dive into it.

A truly memorable book!
Highly recommended .

My first read by Sarah Crossan and how amazing it was!

TWs: domestic abuse and violence, homelessness, chronic illness

Two women from different generations end up being dependent and close to each other while sharing the common trauma of domestic abuse among other issues while trying to find their own identity in the chaos. Or while trying simply to survive.

One old, one young- generation apart, yet the common binding is that of pain and sorrow. One trying to remember who she is and the other trying to forget her past life.

Allison is a young girl who runs away from her abusive home. She wants to live with her father but can’t understand where to find the silver lining. She wants to forget her past life so she takes refuge in a lonely cottage at a beach. But to her surprise, there lives a 70-something woman Marla who is struggling to remember herself. She has Dementia and hence she mistakenly thinks Allison is her long-lost friend Toffee. And this misunderstanding forms a beautiful relationship between the two, which is the backbone of the story.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭.
𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦.

𝘖𝘩, 𝘺𝘦𝘴. 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦…
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

The story deals with some serious topics of domestic abuse, dementia, and homelessness among others and yet it was heartwarming! The relationship between the two women shows the importance of friendship no matter the age. It is intensely compelling and emotional. So much so that for the first time I couldn’t help myself but made some doodles along these lines.

This is a book written in verse so you can easily fly through it but the emotions hit you hard. Domestic abuse is always a hard topic to read about. It is the toxicity of it, that makes one believe that they deserve it, that it is their fault that no one loves them. And it is what Allison is struggling through, to get the love of her father.

I felt the ending was a bit rushed. But other than that, it was truly amazing. I connected to these characters, and I felt for them. The emotions are strong and the storytelling is perfect.

Definitely recommended 💜
 

 Craig Thompson's memoir 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘵𝘴 is an amazingly crafted graphic novel that talks about love, religion, and memories. This super touching autobiographical novel is about Craig's coming-of-age and the struggles he faced with his identity, as well as his first love in the context of his strict religious upbringing.

One of the coolest things about Blankets is that Thompson creates a story that's both heartwarming and heart-wrenching. The novel focuses on more than just Craig's romantic relationship with Raina; it's also about his equally important relationship with his brother. Thompson does an excellent job of balancing these two relationships, which represent different sides of Craig's life, perfectly reflected through the book cover as well.

Snow and blankets are two major symbols in this graphic novel. While snow symbolizes all the hardships and challenges, blankets show the warmth of the relationships and the protection they provide. Through these symbols, Thompson captures the beauty and fragility of different forms of love, from the love of family and friends to the love between romantic partners ❤️

Raina's character showcases the intensity and passion of young love and new experiences, as well as the heartbreak that often comes with it. Meanwhile, the complex relationship between Craig and his brother, Phil, highlights the love and loyalty that exist between siblings despite their differences.

Blankets also dives into how memories shape people throughout their lives. Craig details the memories and trauma from his childhood and adolescence that shaped who he became, making the novel a powerful testament to the impact of past experiences on our present and future selves.

It's also covers the themes of faith in it, as Craig grapples with his strict religious upbringing. The novel highlights the harm that can come from blindly following dogma and the damaging effects of religious intolerance. However, it also showcases the beauty and comfort that faith can bring, as Craig finds solace in the idea of a higher power during his darkest moments.

“How satisfying it is to make footprints in the snow, to leave a mark, no matter how temporary.”

Thompson's artwork is stunning, and his storytelling is masterful. Blankets is a beautiful and complex novel that captures the joy and pain of growing up. It's a must-read for anyone interested in the genre or those who appreciate well-told stories.