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The future feels like a vast, dark ocean filled with unseen dangers and uncertain shores. I don’t know what lies ahead for us. The only thing I know is the pain in my chest.

My love for you is an obsession. Your rejection of me is a compulsion. Somewhere between obsession and compulsion is impulse.

Let this be a lesson to you, little girl. Never invite a monster into your heart. Because it renders you powerless.

They were doing something that had never been done, had never even been tested in any real practical way. Fear was a perfectly reasonable reaction, but it still didn’t change the fact that they were homeless, jobless and alone.

“We could all hear her under the wind—…[ ] —crying— [ ] —begging us to come back.” [ ] And we left her there anyway. [ ] We all walked away and pretended we didn’t see those big weasel-things at all, didn’t we? We pretended we never heard her screaming.”

“He can’t throw me out,” she scoffed. “He can call himself Captain or Commander or King of the fucking Fly-People for all I care, but he can’t make me leave if I don’t want to.”
Crandall gave her a crooked, scornful smile.
“There’s this other book they made us read in school called Animal Farm. Bet you never read that one either, huh?”
Amber rolled her eyes. “No. Is there a pig in it?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, there’s two. One’s a real smart pig who wants to help all the dumb sheep and dogs and chickens on the farm, you know, live a better life. The other one’s pretty much a talker. Guess which pig takes over and which one disappears?”
“What happened to the sheep?” asked Amber.
Crandall quit smiling.

“And you forced Nicci on the ship, you say. I doubt you had her tied and dragging behind you, but even if so, you put her on the ship because you would not leave her behind. That is who you are, Soft-Skin. So say whatever you like about how evil you are and how poor a person and how small of worth, but even in the midst of all that, remember that you still took the time to thank me.”

He knew that joy can be a terrible thing to feel, when you know you can’t have it every day.

He may believe that God had given him this babysitting job, but she also knew that if he started looking for divine signs to quit, they were one funny-shaped cloud away from losing him. And when that happened, they were dead.

“You are an aggravating woman,” he told her, his hand slipping around to the small of her back. “You make me feel things there are no words for. You make me want to do things I do not know how to do. You also make me very angry. How fortunate that these are the times I most desire you.”

“How can you say you’re not mine when you gave everything you had to me? Everything you are…God gave you to me,” he murmured, nuzzling under her jaw. “Even when I did not know how to ask. He found you anyway and put you in my path. You are the woman I was born into this world to find.”

“I have often thought that you argue with me solely because you enjoy argument. Now I know it.”

“You learned to stand before you walked. You learned to crawl before you stood. You learned to roll onto your belly before you crawled. You learned which way was up before you rolled. So. You want to learn how to survive here, you say, but to teach you those things, I have to begin at the beginning. I am teaching you exactly how I was taught, with far, far less slapping than either I received or you deserve.”

“Amber tossed down her coal-stirring stick. “God sees us, huh?” “Yes.” “Right now?” He seemed puzzled by the question. “Now and always.” Amber looked at the clouds. “Could you possibly make this day any worse?” she demanded. A drop of rain hit her in the eye. Then another. And then the skies opened up and began to pour, killing the last coals in just a few steam-hissing seconds and drenching her to the skin.”

“You told me once that truth isn’t always just what someone says,” said Amber after a moment. “But what something is. What it means.”

“Because you told me the truth, even when you thought it was something I did not want to hear. That is how I know how much you love me.”

“Watch yourself, gutter rat,” I breathe. “See all the things I saw as a boy in love. The faces you make, the pain you’ll emit. I want you to watch as I break you.”

I hunger for the way men become weak around me, beneath me, inside of me. They think they’re using me, but I know. I know what it takes to make them fold. What makes them fall on their sword for a taste of the promised land. And I assure you, it isn’t much.

"You,” she whispers back. “You are the darkness that I want to wear proudly.”