stellabyproxy's reviews
105 reviews

The Flowers of Buffoonery by Osamu Dazai

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dark funny fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

a clumsy pas de deux with grief, battling to lead whilst not stepping on toes that might prompt actual conversation about the recent events. the pain and inquisition of the main character’s double suicide attempt and affair with his, now dead, lover linger in the air as he and his friends attempt to fill the room with laughter. the self-deprecating interjections of Dazai’s voice only add to this effort at taking a heavy topic and trying to be lighthearted about it. we see the main character ruminate over creating a masterpiece alongside his creator, who is trying to do the same. the entire book has a disturbing youthfulness in how a serious conversation is danced around, similar to the diction of taboo topics in society today. surprised to have not come across the words “unalive,” or “grippy socks vacation.” not sure how i feel about this particular writing style, but it’s unique and was an experience.

“If only you could understand the sadness of the ones who grow the delicate flowers of buffoonery, protecting them from but the slightest gust of wind and always on the verge of despair!”
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Before Your Memory Fades by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

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dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

i didn’t think this book could make me cry in the first 76 pages, however The Daughter touched my soul in such an all-encompassing manner. i literally burst into tears in public and got taken back to being an 11-year-old girl wanting to feel the comfort of my mother’s hug after a bad day. 

there is an invisible string that connects each character, one that not only pulls them closer but save them both like a lifeline. 

a sentiment that held true in each story:
“Don’t ever forget me until the end of the ages […] Because my love runs deeper than any grudge.”
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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll

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fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

0.0

i tried going into this book with an open mind but knowing the paedophilic history of lewis carroll (real name charles dodgson) being obsessed with little girls… didn’t really make for an enjoyable children’s book inspired by one of said ‘little girls’, alice liddell. yes it was the mid-1800s, yes child brides were legal, yes i simply don’t care. he would not only form “friendships” with the children of his colleagues, but spend lengthy time alone with them, photograph them nude, and write them love letters. to quote carroll directly: 

“I confess I do not admire naked boys in pictures. They always seem to me to need clothes: whereas one hardly sees why the lovely forms of girls should ever be covered up!”

so yeah, although the stories themselves do not necessarily show these beliefs, fuck lewis carroll!
Cometh the Hour by Jeffrey Archer

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adventurous mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

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challenging dark tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

“Build a beautiful cathedral for me.”

It is not every day that I pick up a book of this volume, but the title immediately caught my eye. Though deathly slow, akin to the ennui of a long dreadful winter, I found it rather fascinating. 

The trials and tribulations of a monastery prior, an outlawed woman and a widowed carpenter do not sound like the makings of an interesting plot, but set in the 1100s, we see the church and its pillars rise, fall, and rise again within these pages. 

I must say, after the first 800 pages I began skimming, simply skipping to the dialogue to try bulldoze through what remained but as I reached the sixth, and final, part of the book I became immediately invested again. For all its vulgarity, and violence, and frustration, it is a well written book and I cannot take that away from Follett. I feel rather optimistic with the idea of finishing the trilogy (something I would’ve done regardless, out of pure spite) however I pray that it does not become more graphic. Going into a book starting in 1123 I knew what to expect, historically, however I can’t help but be left with a bad taste in my mouth from all the brutality forced upon the main female character, and the almost lack of regard for her suffering. Though resilient, powerful and graceful to the end, as happy as i was to see Lady Aliena get her justice, I’m of the option that she should’ve never had to seek it to begin with. 
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Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

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funny hopeful lighthearted fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

“Seventy-eight percent probability of latent bisexual tendencies”

I read this book in just over 4 straight (hehe) hours and absolutely did not regret a single minute. From the second we were introduced to Alex and Henry and thrown into their world of politics, diplomacy and rivalry, there was no doubt in my mind that it was going to be a fun ride. 

The pacing of the book felt rather rushed to me, with no room for actual tension to build and the characters establishing a friendship/relationship rather quickly (so much for slow-burn enemies to lovers); however outside of that, and the very graphic sexual content — am I turning into a prude? what happened to my wattpad era self? — there was so much to love about this book. The camaraderie between the White House Trio — Alex, Nora and June — brought the perfect amount of comedic relief that had me outwardly laughing, and enough deep meaningful conversations to have me crying, and internally screaming at the characters to get their shit together and release themselves from the shackles of familial obligation! 

“That kind of love is rare, even if it was a complete disaster.” He sucks his teeth, considering. “Sometimes you just jump and hope it’s not a cliff.”

The conversations around sexuality and self exploration between all the characters in the midst of a fiery presidential election campaign allowed us to gain a deeper understanding of them, but also ourselves as a society (particularly those had between Alex and Nora, his father Oscar, and his mentor Rafael Luna). The comparisons between American and British culture, politics and history brought about many laughs and the integration of literature and historical love letters via email exchanges between Alex and Henry left my heart souring. Overall, I am glad the movie adaptation trailer convinced me to immediately start reading. 

I have closed this book with one simple takeaway. A concept that has changed history, changed lives and keeps me hopeful for all of us little queer hopefuls…
“Love is indomitable.”
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The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

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adventurous dark tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

“It’s just the kind of story that catches fire.”

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is nothing like I had imagined and everything I could have hoped for. 

As a long-time fan of the original trilogy, I was apprehensive about reading this prequel. Partly because of my past disappointments with expansion of series, as well as the possibility of bursting that bubble of nostalgia. Collins easily came in with an absolute gem which is sure to be another amazing book-to-film adaptation. 

“The origins of Coriolanus Snow and his star-crossed romance with District 12 tribute Lucy Gray Baird” would be a rather reductive summary of a story which completely dissects the fabric of The Hunger Games, and the masterful future President Snow’s adolescent contributions to its future success. We see him attempting to maintain public appearances in the midst of post-war financial stresses, a young boy thrust into the harsh realities of politics. What ensues is nothing short of invasive and all-encompassing. Both Snow, and the reader, completely wrapped up in a story and game that seemingly has no end. The end of the game is not the end of the story, as Snow learns all too well how survival is not a singular annual event but an ongoing daily struggle. A struggle upon which the Games are founded, as “Without the control to enforce the [societal] contract, chaos reigned.” This story only helps to further understand the parallels in the lives of Coriolanus Snow and Katniss Everdeen. Snow’s hatred for Katniss, mockingjays and rebellion: all reminiscent of his tumultuous childhood which he only barely overcame, through the sacrifice of his humanity, his family and his love. The strategic use of music/lyrics and the imagery it holds is an invisible string that ties everything together, the origin of The Hanging Tree  a beautiful parting gift and devastating revelation that will live on in THG history. 

It is of no surprise how congruent to modern societies Panem is, and in the end I am left with the burning question: “If the people who were supposed to protect you played so fast and loose with your life… then how did you survive?”
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The Body Snatcher by Robert Louis Stevenson

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dark slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.0

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

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dark mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide / When the Rainbow Is Enuf by Ntozake Shange

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dark emotional reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0