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moejawish's review
4.0
“The argument has long been made that we humans are by nature compassionate and empathic despite the occasional streak of meanness"
jasmine_rd's review against another edition
2.25
Skim read
Notes for myself:
Social interactions are made up of conscious and subconscious.
Afterglow of intreractions. All interactions cause us to feel differently. Tone of voice, synchronisation etc = stimulates same areas in our brain = feel it too -> subconscious
Rapport
Feel the others warmth, understanding, genuineness.
a) mutual attention - same focus, like glue.
b) mutual empathy - know the other person fully understands cos feels part of what you are feeling.
c) shared positive feeling - tone of voice, facial expressions.
d) well coordinated non-verbal duet - similar pace of convo and body movements, eg sitting up straight vs slouching. On the same wavelength. Match mood and pace.
The more 2 people subconsciously synchronise movements = feel more positively about each other and the interaction - going in synch. Doesn't work if deliberate/ conscious.
We feel pain when seeing someone else suffer cos same regions activated when we see someone in distress = in order to urger us to act to alleviate their pain and our pain.
Profile of non verbal sensitivity
Reading the mind in the eyes test
'listening carefully with undivided attention orients our neural circuits for connectivity, putting us on the same wavelength. This increases the likelihood of synchrony and positive feelings (rapport).
Notes for myself:
Social interactions are made up of conscious and subconscious.
Afterglow of intreractions. All interactions cause us to feel differently. Tone of voice, synchronisation etc = stimulates same areas in our brain = feel it too -> subconscious
Rapport
Feel the others warmth, understanding, genuineness.
a) mutual attention - same focus, like glue.
b) mutual empathy - know the other person fully understands cos feels part of what you are feeling.
c) shared positive feeling - tone of voice, facial expressions.
d) well coordinated non-verbal duet - similar pace of convo and body movements, eg sitting up straight vs slouching. On the same wavelength. Match mood and pace.
The more 2 people subconsciously synchronise movements = feel more positively about each other and the interaction - going in synch. Doesn't work if deliberate/ conscious.
We feel pain when seeing someone else suffer cos same regions activated when we see someone in distress = in order to urger us to act to alleviate their pain and our pain.
Profile of non verbal sensitivity
Reading the mind in the eyes test
'listening carefully with undivided attention orients our neural circuits for connectivity, putting us on the same wavelength. This increases the likelihood of synchrony and positive feelings (rapport).
biobibliophile's review
4.0
Really enjoyed this work (though some of the stories and research are a bit repetitive throughout the book). Interesting synthesis of social science research to back the importance of empathy.
jmfraser19's review
4.0
Very good book with great insights as to how relationships work and the impact on our health. The science was accurate and easy to understand. Very interesting information.
anitaofplaybooktag's review against another edition
3.0
More of a psychology book than a science book, Goleman does a nice job of explaining the brain biology that underlies our feelings and social interactions. He then goes on to discuss the underpinnings of our social relationships, why some people are psychopaths, the impact of social relationships on health, etc. etc.
I found the first part to be the most enlightening. Goleman discusses how humans are inherently empathetic - - and how empathy is actually controlled by the more unconscious part of the brain. He illustrates this with some interesting anecdotes. One that was memorable to me was an experiment with monkeys. Six monkeys could pull one of two strings for food. One string gave the monkeys a lot of food, but also shocked a seventh monkey in the same cage. The other string gave the monkey a much smaller amount of food and did not shock their companion. Four of monkeys would only pull the second string so that their comrade was not shocked. The other two pretty much wouldn't pull any string and were starving themselves for days rather than take a chance of hurting their companion. I found this to be fascinating - - that their empathy was actually higher than their desire for food.
In addition, Goleman makes a compelling case that emotions are very contagious and that we can spread joy or sadness quite readily to our fellow human beings.
Unfortunately, the points that Goleman makes are hammered home again and again. I felt a bit like his book was a science article blown up into big 300 page book. He did give lots of examples, but after awhile I just felt that his thesis didn't really merit a whole book.
A lot of the book really consisted of his views that stemmed from his research i.e. prisons need to be more rehabilitative, medical caregivers need more time with patients in order to give optimal care (duh), and so on and so forth. He also has a large section on relationships and how your childhood really impacts your own relationships later in life (double duh). It might be very useful to read this section if you do have young children as it does show the impact you have on their lives.
I found the very most interesting part to be the biology that contributes to people becoming psychopaths . . .and that there's definitely an element of brain chemistry that is a contributing factor.
All in all, I'm glad I read it, but I think his first book - - Emotional Intelligence - - was a WHOLE lot better and more interesting. So if you like psychology - - I'd go with that one first!
I found the first part to be the most enlightening. Goleman discusses how humans are inherently empathetic - - and how empathy is actually controlled by the more unconscious part of the brain. He illustrates this with some interesting anecdotes. One that was memorable to me was an experiment with monkeys. Six monkeys could pull one of two strings for food. One string gave the monkeys a lot of food, but also shocked a seventh monkey in the same cage. The other string gave the monkey a much smaller amount of food and did not shock their companion. Four of monkeys would only pull the second string so that their comrade was not shocked. The other two pretty much wouldn't pull any string and were starving themselves for days rather than take a chance of hurting their companion. I found this to be fascinating - - that their empathy was actually higher than their desire for food.
In addition, Goleman makes a compelling case that emotions are very contagious and that we can spread joy or sadness quite readily to our fellow human beings.
Unfortunately, the points that Goleman makes are hammered home again and again. I felt a bit like his book was a science article blown up into big 300 page book. He did give lots of examples, but after awhile I just felt that his thesis didn't really merit a whole book.
A lot of the book really consisted of his views that stemmed from his research i.e. prisons need to be more rehabilitative, medical caregivers need more time with patients in order to give optimal care (duh), and so on and so forth. He also has a large section on relationships and how your childhood really impacts your own relationships later in life (double duh). It might be very useful to read this section if you do have young children as it does show the impact you have on their lives.
I found the very most interesting part to be the biology that contributes to people becoming psychopaths . . .and that there's definitely an element of brain chemistry that is a contributing factor.
All in all, I'm glad I read it, but I think his first book - - Emotional Intelligence - - was a WHOLE lot better and more interesting. So if you like psychology - - I'd go with that one first!
dunguyen's review against another edition
4.0
Social Intelligence builds upon Goleman's other book Emotional Intelligence. Whereas emotional intelligence is about how one's emotions, Social Intelligence deals with how emotions arise in social contexts.
The start of the book starts off very well with explaining the neurobiology of emotions and a lot of the science that underpin the messages of the book. Namely that emotions are contagious among people and how emotions can cause physiological changes.
The rest of the book proceeds with anecdotes and the odd scientific study of these concepts in action. While the book is well-researched, a significant part of it is anecdotes that seem to confirm the messages of the book. While not unpleasant to read, it does make it harder for the reader to discern actual science from some of the anecdotes.
Overall, it follows nicely in line with the other Goleman books and expands on some of the chapters of Goleman's Emotional Intelligence.
The start of the book starts off very well with explaining the neurobiology of emotions and a lot of the science that underpin the messages of the book. Namely that emotions are contagious among people and how emotions can cause physiological changes.
The rest of the book proceeds with anecdotes and the odd scientific study of these concepts in action. While the book is well-researched, a significant part of it is anecdotes that seem to confirm the messages of the book. While not unpleasant to read, it does make it harder for the reader to discern actual science from some of the anecdotes.
Overall, it follows nicely in line with the other Goleman books and expands on some of the chapters of Goleman's Emotional Intelligence.
bibliobiophile's review
4.0
Really enjoyed this work (though some of the stories and research are a bit repetitive throughout the book). Interesting synthesis of social science research to back the importance of empathy.
mjarmel's review
4.0
Really enjoyed this work (though some of the stories and research are a bit repetitive throughout the book). Interesting synthesis of social science research to back the importance of empathy.