Very genuine and thorough. I really enjoyed Gregory Cole's writing, and the way that he deals thoroughly with the questions that he faced. He explores so much more than just LGBTQ issues, delving into the meaning of discipleship, sacrifice, and love for every Christian. Definitely recommend.

I was introduced to the book through this article and I would recommend it as a preface: https://think-truth.org/2024/02/08/same-sex-attraction-and-desiring-god/

I've run into several people in my life, even friends and coworkers, who have similar stories to Gregory Coles. They were raised in an evangelical Christian home and grew up believing that homosexuality was a sin. Eventually, they find themselves dealing with their sexuality and their Christianity as if they are irreconcilable. They don't want to let go of either one, and so one needs to trump the other - that is, one needs to be modified in order to fit the other. It is an interesting point that I have not seen the sexuality adapt to fit scripture, but always scripture adapt to fit the individuals sexuality.

For some, they recognize the impasse and just live in willful contradiction. One person I know very well in my life does this. He recognizes that the bible condemns his sexuality and openly admits he is living contrarily to Scripture. He is in the minority who actually vocalize that.

Coles in this book offers his personal story of working through all this. He states that those who helped him along the way were the ones that accepted for who he was, not who he should be. But this is where the tail is chasing the dog. Those who helped him along the way assumes that there was an end destination for Coles. One that he either knows in advance or figured out along the way. The end destination seems to be an idea that is irrelevant to the destination that Christ has for us - that is conformed to His image and likeness. Rather, for Coles, that end destination is a place where he is comfortable with who he is in light of how he was raised and taught. That seems to have been a place where he is single and celibate in his homosexuality.

Even if you are of the position that homosexuality is not condemned by Scripture, or some other variation that sees LGBTQIA+ people in a morally positive light, there should still be a major disconnect here. Is the end destination, the telos if you will, of a person's life journey a place where they find peace in who they were from the beginning? Would the apostle Paul ask us to fight the good fight of.... our sexuality? What does a good and faithful servant look like? One who is content with who they are or how they were made? There is a lot of unexplored theology that Coles seems to have brushed past on his way to finding peace as a single, gay Christian. Does his thesis change if he is no longer single? What if he is married? What about a single, straight Christian? Are the truths that he believes transferable to them?

If you read this with the expectation that you are reading the diary of a man who is struggling with his faith and sexuality, it isn't that bad. But any expectations beyond that are simply disappointing on every level.

I really appreciated this book and the author’s vulnerability throughout it. So many of the books (Christian or not) that talk about the relationship between the LGBT+ community and the church are so packed with condemnation directed at whichever side with which the author disagrees. I’m grateful that Gregory Coles’s writing did not do this - at least not in my opinion. He so simply told his story, explained his convictions, and ultimately ended the book with a reminder that not one of us is the judge of another.
In a world where queer individuals are spurned and condemned by many churches and where church members are hated or feared by much of the queer community, this book stood for something so contrary to both - the sovereign and merciful love of God to all who ask.

I hate the back of this book--"he's a committed Christian . . . BUT ALSO GAY?!?!?" Please calm down. That being said, the contents of this book are so good. Coles describes his personal journey as a missionary kid, worship leader, and person wrestling with his sexuality. His choice to be celibate is a lonely one and a brave one. He makes it clear throughout the book that this is his choice, his lifestyle, that he doesn't want to be used as a weapon by straight folks against other people in the LBGTQ+ community. My heart broke for Coles as he described his loneliness and the painful journey he is on. But he also filled me with hope. This is a really good memoir.

Greg Coles is a tremendous writer, and I loved reading these musings about his life and his faith. “I saw the power of the stories we tell,” he writes, “how one person’s machete-hewn journey through the briars can become someone else’s highway to hope. I found myself believing that, as long as it continues to be told, no story is ever wasted” (88). His own story is fascinating, especially when he tells it with such bold honesty and wry humor.

Reading these thoughts about life and faith from Coles’s perspective, I benefited from the wisdom that he has gained through pursuing questions that I would never even have thought to ask. And what particularly struck me throughout the book is the need for community. On his own, Coles wouldn’t be the same person he is now. Loneliness, he writes, is “a ninja ailment, slipping in unnoticed, strangling you without the courtesy of an explanation” (75). Looking back on his earlier years of loneliness, he reflects:

I don’t regret that season of loneliness. It was, I think, a necessary part of my spiritual growth. Those ten years gave me space to reflect on my experience of sexuality, to see God’s hand in the midst of my sorrow, without being tempted to let someone else dictate my story to me. I learned to run to God with my unanswered questions, to look to my faith as my primary source of comfort instead of merely as a last resort. I learned that it is possible to have a rich, joyful life even through challenge and heartache—that joy is even more passionate, even more robust, when you realize how much it costs. (76)

But he also adds, “What I lacked, in the midst of all those incredible blessings, was a healthy experience of intimacy.” He needed the loving conversations with his pastor, all the questions from his sister-in-law, and interactions with many other people—everything that came after the loneliness. And community is not a one-sided thing: all of those people also needed Coles to pursue Christ and find the insights that only he could gain; they needed his honesty and candor and love.

I found Coles’s insights thought-provoking and helpful in contemplating what God calls each of us to, what love is, and what role we have to play through suffering and joy. Coles has an excellent perspective, and I’m so glad that he wrote and published his story.

A beautifully written book that is deeply personal and vulnerable. I appreciate the author sharing his story of being a celibate gay Christian.

“‘I’m convinced,’ I said, ‘that in the end, God is more concerned with the depth and the recklessness of our love for him, than he is with our right answers.’”

This was a very brave book for Gregory Coles to write. On one hand there are many Christians who disagree with his stance that he was born gay. On the other hand, there are many LGBTQ individuals who disagree with his stance on celibacy as he lives out his faith. I, however, am glad to read of his singular experiences that led him to write this book. Gregory’s writing oozes with the love he has for Jesus and for humanity and his words are inspiring.

Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Read if you like:
Christian nonfiction
Current conversations filled with grace

As others have said, I could NOT put this book down. It was a delightful, insightful memoir and I loved it. Highly recommended - no matter where you currently stand on this issue.