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kellybaskin's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
5.0
hannahmayreads's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I borrowed this from the library, but 30 pages in I was in Dymocks buying a copy. I was prepared to identify heavily with this book, but it was so much more. I wanted to highlight every single sentence - I think Warrington is living in my brain.
“But me not being a mother feels as fundamentally a part of me as the freckles on my face; not something I would ever have thought to question had it not become apparent that someday, being somebody's mom would be expected of me.”
A big throughline for the book is emotional inheritance, but Warrington takes it far beyond immediate family and puts it in a broader context. For women, this inheritance happens on a societal level and has been handed down through the generations for thousands of years. Yes, we're talking patriarchy. Here she quotes Adrienne Rich in defining the "distinction between the act of mothering and the 'patriarchal institution' of motherhood... the regulation of women's reproductive power by men... are all essential to the patriarchal system, as is the negative or suspect status of women who are not mothers". Some people might doubt this idea, but I cannot untangle my decision not to have children from these things.
"... in decoupling our destinies from a very old story about women's rightful role in society, something is ending with us. That rather than a loss, this is how we begin to imagine a legacy for womankind beyond motherhood."
Everything was a moment of feeling very seen, but for me, the chapter 'If Not Mother' was one of the strongest. In a society where womanhood is defined by motherhood, what are we if not a mother? The idea that becoming a parent grants you respectability and maturity, entry into adulthood if you will, is baffling to me but I also feel my peers making this judgement of me. My choice is confronting too so many who are threatened by it and seem to think my choice says something about them. The binary that divides us is a sad thing, but to be honest I don't believe the defensiveness is coming from non-mothers. At least I won't get burnt at the stake these days. Hopefully.
In reality, this book is a push to bridge that divide, and I think everyone should read it, no matter your choice. Like Angea Saini's The Patriarchs, it reminds you of the context in which we make all our choices. If the world was different would I make a different choice? Who knows. All I know is that this is the right one for me.
naoki's review
5.0
Loved this book! In a society where, as Warrington says, ‘Motherhood is still upheld as every woman’s rightful, natural role, the path to her ultimate fulfilment,’ women without kids need not only non-mother role models but different ways of thinking about a childfree existence rather than ‘sad and childless’ or ‘selfish and deviant’.
In Women Without Kids, Warrington interrogates ideas around non-motherhood, including the 'childless women' vs 'childfree women' binary, that is, women who want children but can't have them and women who choose not to have them.
In reality, women without kids fit somewhere between these two extremes. And if we chose not to have kids? Our reasons behind opting out are different and incredibly nuanced as well.
Maybe we realised society isn’t set up for parents to flourish. Maybe our childhood was fucked and we’re reparenting ourselves. Maybe we’re environmentalists and don’t want to aid human consumption. Maybe we see caring for people who already exist as an imperative. Or maybe we just want to do other stuff.
Warrington unpacks all of these scenarios and more, delving into family dynamics, capitalism, the patriarchy, childhood trauma, privilege (racial, emotional, economic), pronatalism, and the climate crisis. And questions how these factors come into play when contemplating motherhood.
Women Without Kids is an empowering book that legitimises the path of non-motherhood and shows us that women without kids are revolutionary, doing integral work in dismantling accepted norms in gender, sexuality and family.
It urges us to throw away old ideas about what it means to be a woman and invites us to rewrite the script while coming together and celebrating the alternative lives we have chosen for ourselves.
I’m beyond grateful to Ruby Warrington for writing this book. It’s given me incredible insights into why I’ve been reluctant to become a mother and empowered me to shape the life that I want without feeling guilty that I’m not fulfilling the ideal role.
In Women Without Kids, Warrington interrogates ideas around non-motherhood, including the 'childless women' vs 'childfree women' binary, that is, women who want children but can't have them and women who choose not to have them.
In reality, women without kids fit somewhere between these two extremes. And if we chose not to have kids? Our reasons behind opting out are different and incredibly nuanced as well.
Maybe we realised society isn’t set up for parents to flourish. Maybe our childhood was fucked and we’re reparenting ourselves. Maybe we’re environmentalists and don’t want to aid human consumption. Maybe we see caring for people who already exist as an imperative. Or maybe we just want to do other stuff.
Warrington unpacks all of these scenarios and more, delving into family dynamics, capitalism, the patriarchy, childhood trauma, privilege (racial, emotional, economic), pronatalism, and the climate crisis. And questions how these factors come into play when contemplating motherhood.
Women Without Kids is an empowering book that legitimises the path of non-motherhood and shows us that women without kids are revolutionary, doing integral work in dismantling accepted norms in gender, sexuality and family.
It urges us to throw away old ideas about what it means to be a woman and invites us to rewrite the script while coming together and celebrating the alternative lives we have chosen for ourselves.
I’m beyond grateful to Ruby Warrington for writing this book. It’s given me incredible insights into why I’ve been reluctant to become a mother and empowered me to shape the life that I want without feeling guilty that I’m not fulfilling the ideal role.
kitayers's review
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
4.0
I enjoyed this, particularly the more philosophical takes. There were a few moments in chapters where it felt like a huge amount of repetition, but I really appreciated the honesty in there and it felt comforting
orliemcdonie's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
3.5
great subject matter but found the writing a bit dull, and lacking depth.
sebollinger's review
5.0
THIS!!: “…in essence, this means being dis-owned by patriarchy - which in turn frees a woman to reevaluate herself on her own terms. To give fewer fucks and to fully embody her wise woman; that is, the version of herself who trusts her lived experience above all else, and who, in doing so, might inspire others to do the same…this is part of our collective legacy as women without kids.”