I really enjoyed this book compared to some other thrillers I've been reading lately. I thought it was well told and you really sympathize with the main character. I think its also true to real cases where someone is victimized but people won't believe them. Well told and really keeps you interested until the end.

Catherine has a compulsive disorder. Although lucky or unluky for Catherine, she has met a guy. His name is Lee. What started out as a good relationship, soon turns violent. Lee beats Catherine to an inch of her life and leaves her for dead.

Lee is sent to prison. Catherine starts a new life and changes her name to Cathy. Cathy gets a new tenant in her building. His name is Stuart and he is a doctor. Stuart is trying to help Cathy with her disorder. In the meantime, Stuart would like to start a relationship with Cathy. This will be hard as Lee has been released from prison and is coming for Cathy.

I have seen this book making its way across the world wide web. I knew I had to check it out. The opening scenes with the court room script was good. I thought with this that the story was going to so somewhere good. Unfortunately for me the characters did not do much for me. I felt the story was slow to get going in the beginning and the flashing back and forth was not as smooth as I would have liked. It read kind of like little snippts or dreams of Catherine's. Now, this may have been what the author was going after, which in this case, it worked. My problem was that I was suppose to like Lee in tbe beginning and understand how Catherine could fall for him but I did not see this. All I could see was the signs that he was bad news for her. Of course, this can be blamed on the fact that she was in love, which the saying goes " Love is blind".

Catherine did not have much of a personality for me. She was kind of bland. I don't think it was her compulsive disorder that can be faulted for why she felt the need to check all her locks double and triple times. Or why she had the feeling that someone was watching her. Catherine was right that someone was watching her...Lee. I can not blame Catherine for having her guard up. If I went through what Catherine did with Lee, then I would have my guard up too and it would be protected by my two friends...Smith and Wesson.

The relationship between Catherine and Stuart seemed one sided in the beginneding with Stuart taking the lead. The psychological thriller aspect that I thought I was going to get with Lee stalking Catherine was more on the quiet side until the last half of the book. Overall, a galant effort for Elizabeth Haynes and her first novel.

4.5 stars

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked, a sinking feeling starting to take over from the feeling of being happily drunk. He met my eyes at last, and his were dark with a level of fury I’d not seen before.
‘What’s wrong? You really have no fucking clue? Jesus.’
‘Lee, tell me, for fuck’s sake. What have I done?’

The story is written from Cathy's P.O.V, switching between 2003 and 2007, which is a really refreshing style as you were learning about her past whilst seeing how it has affected her future. The first thing that I really liked about this book was Cathy herself. I liked her a lot, she was so genuine and real, I could almost forget she was fictional.
A lot of the present tense dealt with her struggles with OCD and PTSD which I must say I wasn't expecting when I went into this book but in fact it was written about so well. Cathys inner-voice and the thought processes she has whilst struggling with her OCD is just so damn accurate. Some people may find it too repetitive, the constant paragraphs of her struggling through it, checking doors, re-checking doors, checking everything to the point that she's crying because she can't stop. But thats what the anxiety does- it takes over, it becomes one of the biggest things in your life, yes its repetitive but that is the nature of the disease. So I felt it was completely necessary and made Cathys character truly real and I could relate, I know that feeling of anxiety that builds up when you get stuck in your vicious cycle of compulsions and cannot stop.

Cathy and Lee's relationship, this isnt something I want to discuss too much but if you know what is is like to love someone despite the red flags, the signs of controlling behaviour, then you will relate to how their relationship developed. You become attached to someone, not for their bad side but for the good side, for their vulnerable side, the sweet and caring side, for their intense passion and devotion and charm, the side of them you've invested all your time and love into.


'He smiled, and reached out and stroked my cheek, a long, soft touch that started with my face and ended on the side of my thigh. He told me he loved me, his voice barely a whisper. I loved him when he was like this, gentle, calm, happy.'

'Being still in love with him, the gentle, vulnerable part of him that was still inside somewhere, was only part of it: it was also the dreadful fear of what he might do if I did anything to provoke him.'

I found it so hard to put this book down even though there were parts of it that were a bit triggering. It kept me on the edge of my seat, constantly wondering would could possibly happen next, fearing the worst and hoping for the best. And there is a twist in the book that just leaves you sitting there like 'no no no oh god.' Anyway, on a nice note, I'm so glad there was a character like Stuart in the book though. Patient, wise, loving. He helped Cathy and he believed her and he was kind and gentle. He didn't tell her to fix herself, he helped her. He supported her.

The only reason I didnt give this 5 stars is that I felt the ending wasn't quite what I was looking for or expecting. It didn't quite work for me. I'm not gonna divulge too much because of spoilers but overall this has been one of my best reads of 2018. I really needed a gripping thrillery crime in my life and this hit the spot. Hence the super lengthy review!

4.5-ish

I enjoyed the flip flop between two timelines but oh my god. This is just so unnecessarily long and repetitive. I genuinely couldn't even count how many cups of tea we have to read about this chick drinking. It started so strong until the constant repetition just made it a chore. Strong content warnings for physical/mental/emotional/sexual abuse and a pretty intense representation of panic attacks.

I just couldn't get past the extremely repetitive ocd on one side, and then the lack of security once the protagonist is out the door (always to the same gym, going out in the same clubs, hitting on a doorman. Went to DNF straight away.

This had a lot more romacey aspects than I thought it would but wow did I love it! I would personally consider this more of a slow burn thriller BUT the authors use of dual timelines (with lots of crazy things going on in one timeline and a slower burn in the other) means I didn’t get bored and was on the edge of my seat the whole time!

I loved this! I loved (and hated as u should!) the characters, the storyline and how well the author presents OCD and PTSD.

I will say that they aren’t loads of twists and turns. Id say there’s probably 1 main ‘wait wtf’ moment BUT this is very much an edge of your seat, can’t put down, must finish this book kinda read!

Catherine is a party girl who enjoys the single lifestyle. When she meets Lee, she is immediately attracted to him and they strike up a relationship. Lee seems wonderful and her friends are all envious of their relationship. But gradually, Catherine starts to find the relationship claustrophobic. Lee starts questioning her about her movements, spying on her, trying to control her. We know from the book's prologue that things are going to go very wrong, but it's not clear exactly how it's going to happen.

Meanwhile in a parallel storyline, we are also following a vastly different Catherine some four years down the track - one who is crippled by anxiety and OCD, finds it impossible to open up to anyone and who has clearly been through a horrific experience. A new man has come into her life, but can she trust him? And is she safe from Lee?

What's great about this book is the rising tension throughout. There are some small twists and surprises along the way, but overall it's evident that we are building towards some kind of climax - it's just not sure what that will be. The suspense grew so strong that I literally couldn't put it down for the final 100 pages. Up until that point though, I did feel that it was a little too drawn out. Having said that, I liked the way the gradual shifts in Lee and Catherine's relationship - and her gradual recovery in the later story - were portrayed.

If you enjoyed this, I strongly recommend The Bed I Made, another (equally tense) book about a relationship gone sour.

WOW ! On the heels of GONE GIRL by Jillian Flynn I picked this one up. 2 unbelievable suspense thrillers in a row !! This is her first book and if the next keeps you going like this one then I can't wait. This is a story about a relationship going terribly awry and the further you get into the book the tenser it gets. Halfway through and I did not want to stop till I found out how it ended. Even the ending was an edge of the seat ending. If you like suspense then this is your book !

Goddamn this shit was fucked up. Wonderfully intuitive portrayal of OCD and PTSD, chilling depiction of domestic abuse, very gripping read.